cultivating new ways of being

in the present...

Yesterday, the car wouldn't start.

As I walked towards it and pushed the little button to make the door unlock, it did nothing... first indication of a problem.

I have been having to get closer and closer before it reacts, so I didn't worry, I just noted... but the lights didn't flash either...

But the doors unlocked, so I got in and turned the key, nothing.

I was just in time to still walk to the meeting, but any action on the car would have to wait until after the meeting.

This little event could have caused a melt down or at least spiraled into some serious stress... so I decided to just be with it on my walk to the meeting.

I allowed my mind to go to the worst case: dead hybrid battery ... end of the car as I do not have the money to repair that kind of problem.

So, if I don't have a car anymore as of today, right this minute, then what?

I can call my friends to get me around for my errands today; okay, actually could only think of one friend that might be free... but upon reflection there were actually three or four people I could have easily called, and three more I would have called more begrudgingly, but I would have done it.

Today, mastered, then what?

I would follow through on the plan ... if something were to happen to the car, just get zipcar... [as a student it's $35 per year, application fee (one time), and $9 an hour ... 180 miles included every day... not a bad deal: no paying for fuel, no paying for insurance, just when you use it. Great deal, totally doable... with what I spend on my car now, much cheaper]

I also thought through the harder part: actually dealing with the dead battery car. Got to call AAA, got to research how to deal with a dead battery on a generation 1 Prius, gotta deal with the reality that I might be letting go of the cute little green car...

I arrived at the meeting with plan in mind. After the meeting, walk to the library, access internet, call friends, call AAA...go from there.

It all worked out. Dead battery from sitting in the cold for three weeks?! Not sure, but whatever, it worked... and it's been cleaned and oiled and is just peachy...

The important thing was not freaking out ... allowing myself to see that I have the resources to handle the worst case scenario made it easier to deal with the immediate feelings of fear, loss, insecurity.

Zen(ish) Thursday ... wonder what Friday will bring...