Thursday, June 07, 2007

finding the antidote

I had to dig into my email to find this gem; it was worth it.

When we catch ourselves thinking or behaving judgmentally, we should ask ourselves where these judgments come from. Traits we hope we do not possess can instigate our criticism when we see them in others because passing judgment distances us from those traits. Once we regain our center, we can reinforce our open-mindedness by putting our feelings into words. To acknowledge to ourselves that we have judged, and that we have identified the root of our judgments, is the first step to a path of compassion. Recognizing that we limit our awareness by assessing others critically can make moving past our initial impressions much easier. Judgments seldom leave room for alternate possibilities.

Mother Teresa said, “If you judge people, you don’t have time to love them.” If we are quick to pass judgment on others, we forget that they, like us, are human beings. As we seldom know what roads people have traveled before a shared encounter or why they have come into our lives, we should always give those we meet the gift of an open heart. Doing so allows us to replace fear-based criticism with appreciation because we can then focus wholeheartedly on the spark of good that burns in all human souls.

For the past few days, I have been fighting through this... trying to figure out what I could do, needed to do and want to do in order to fight this feeling. Need to ground, find the center, acknowledge, and remember that compassion is my most fervent goal.

A friend asked me yesterday, as we talked about my inability to commit to ONE job, "What do you want to do?"

I don't know. I told her. I don't have any shame in admitting that. Maybe I should, but I don't.

But, I do know what I want to be, more than anything: compassionate.
I also know what I do not want to be: selfish.

So, I can be compassionate with myself on not being able to make good progress on finding the "right" job; however, I do need to be more consistent and persistent on being compassionate with the world, and especially with those around me.

Just a thought.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


I hate the tight feeling... it's tight in my chest and I feel closed in a little box, barely able to move my head around... and it comes out as snippy.

You may encounter this feeling sometimes.

It takes a little while for me to notice that I am snapping (in my mind if not aloud each time) at every little irritant...and EVERYTHING is irritating.

When I realize it, then I know the real unease will begin.

Now I have to dig and find what is really irritating me and deal with that so that I can STOP being SNIPPY to the world.