sucker punched

That is how it feels right now.

I know I have no right to feel that way.

Maybe it is just that I have such a wild pile of things to do and no time and no energy and no motivation.

Maybe it is that I wanted just one thing to go as planned.

Get out the world's tiniest violin because I deserve it.

Everything is fine, just fine. I am being utterly dramatic ... exagerada de primera.

On the other hand, I needed to get it out.

So, here it is. Something told me to look at a particular website today. And sure enough, even though I have looked there so many times before, there it was. And that piece of information led me to the confirmation of what I have KNOWN in my heart for some time. Regardless, it still felt like I had been punched in the stomach. All the air went out and there I was, facing down that which I have known to be true but without any corroboration.

Be careful what you ask for... that's all I can say.

You tell the universe you want to understand what is going on and then you get the gut feeling that points you to just the information you knew was true but didn't really want to know.

Yeah... there it is. I have seriously no right to be hurt or upset even because I wanted to know and now I do.

I bought myself some soup and some seriously yummy cheese and bread and I am going to drown my discomfort (I shouldn't really go beyond that descriptor) and listen to Luis Miguel ... why not make the torture complete?