Going/Being Home

I am sitting here watching people going in and out of the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf - most notably the mom and daughter duo with the matching purple hair dye.

It occurs to me that I might know some of these people. I mean, some of these folks might be my cousins and I would never know it. My knowledge of family is so situational-revolving around funerals, baby showers, weddings etc.

It also makes me shudder at the thought of how some of these folks might have gone to school with me. I remember junior high and high school through my own tortured lens. But there was that one weird fb message I got from someone I don't remember who remembers me - and apparently what he remembers isn't pretty.

I shudder again imaging what awfulness I might have perpetrated and what of my own crazy angst might have been construed as malice.

Odd since I sit here waiting for a former high school classmate with whom I reconnected at Christmas time. We had such a lovely conversation that I built her into my schedule as a buffer to my own "you can't go home again" anxiety.

We know so little about how people perceive us, especially when we are living in the wild inside of our teenage minds. I guess that mind lives on for all those that never leave that selfishness.

Location:N Rose Ave,Oxnard,United States