under the wire ... top of the mind

My horoscope warned me today that I would want to get some things off my chest... so I tried to hold my tongue ... and thought that I was past the danger when I decided to return a call to my mother.

Ah... the complications of family. Tense and intense is the best I can do to describe it.


Tense and awkward are my least favorite situations -- I prefer to say how I feel and feel how I feel... I don't appreciate having to hold my tongue -- either the fact that I have to or the virtue in doing it.

That is the crux of the problem ... if I could feel the virtue of it, maybe I would be better at it. Maybe I would try is I guess what I am saying.

What is wrong with truthfulness?

I think that maybe I like it when I do and not so much when others do it... but when I think back on it... of course it smarts when people tell you a truth that you didn't want to hear -- but, at least, for me, if it is someone that I trust, I do hear it -- maybe not in the moment but it doesn't run past me. The truth they speak is captured in my mind and heart and I ruminate.

It is not to say that I can rise above all the time, but I can, over time, consider and make adjustments or at least accept ...

Not sure that this is where I was planning to go when I started this post, but it is where I ended up... so goodnight to any readers that might be out there...

I am feeling good about being faithful to these daily posts ... 20 days down, 10 more to go...