contradictions

Some of the things I wish for my friends are secretly my wishes.

Not that I don't want them to be happy. I do. But I can see what will make them happy so clearly, or so I believe. What if it is all a projection?

What would happen if I turned my keen eye on myself?

Well it's not exactly the eye that's needed. It's the will. The determination and the faith to open my eyes on the truth.

I need to believe -- if I believed, then I would have the courage to do all the things I plan to do and then don't because...

Some of the items on the list from this weekend:

-long walk in the evening
-beach day with a run
-early run in the cemetery
-clean apartment
-clean desk
-mail packages
-find dress for the wedding
-get car washed
-finish statement
-finish blog drafts