I had just come out of the therapy session where I had *promised* to do one thing to take care of myself this week. [No, I haven't done that yet, by the way.]
I suggested that I don't have time to think about myself because I am taking care of everyone else.
She followed with her issue was that she did not feel worthy.
She said it so matter-of-factly that it didn't even feel like a challenge to speak the truth.
I suspect that years of therapy have made revelations such as that one easier to hold and share.
They [who are they?] say [and why are they always saying things?] that recognizing/acknowledging our issues is the first step.
I say, "First step to what? HELL?"
I already know this... do I forget? Do I have to be reminded so painfully?
And what am I supposed to do with this knowledge?
|seaweed and surf, favorite beach|
I just finished journaling about some other ugly things that I have been feeling. I am not sure that it makes me feel *better* but it does make me feel the tiniest bit lighter.
Every week, I bring the mijo to his group, and I see his shoulders drop in relief. I am not sure what makes him feel so safe there -- that he is not different, alone in his condition or grief? And at the end of the hour and a half, he is elated... he always comes out of group bouncing with happiness.
I do not feel this way after group ... or journaling or truth telling or even crying. But I do feel the tiniest bit lighter.