This post was going to start: EVERY DAY IS HARD.
But then I started to feel like that was probably (still considering) exaggerating.
So, some days are harder than others.
All I know is that I have been wanting to cry for days ... I struggle to describe what that actually looks and feels like.
I have said before that it feels like a dark smoke filling up my eyes, circling through my mind. It feels like walking around under a dark cloud, blocking out the sun and threatening to rain.
It feels like a tug on your heartstrings ... the kind that leads you to cry while watching a coffee commercial (not the current, but think back to those days with the super melodramatic coffee commercials, you know what I mean) or the trailer for the latest super romantic movie (you know the one where the couple is going to have to go through serious heartache and maybe many years before they get together and then the movie will end?).
It looks like being super sensitive to everything that is being said to you -- those days when you think you can feel the unsaid critiques cut you to your soul.
Like that, but more dramatic because mercury is in retrograde.
Why do I always plan out to be super productive for an extended period only to find out it is smack dab in the middle of the retrograde? WHY?
One would think that I would check first, but I don't.
So, blame it on mercury if I feel like shit ... and it isn't even the stronger period just now...
In fact, I was completely oblivious to the dates until I was on the third day of feeling like crap. By this day, I was unable to even keep the tears inside -- and I am super good at it.
I had already done some questionable at best things that caused me even more angst before I bothered to look it up.
Yup, been in retrograde since the 4th ... and won't go direct til the 25th ...
I am thinking the only thing to do is EXERCISE ... yeah that should have been my first clue.
On October 1st, I went to the gym to try to become a member -- and they couldn't figure out how to help me with that ... it was the pre-retrograde and I fell right into it.
I am still going to try to EXERCISE, but I am also going to eat emergency treats.
There I Am True
20 hours ago