Grief is ...

Grief is

much more than just crying 

and feeling sad.

It is anger

and sleeplessness

and hunger

and nausea

and loneliness

and anger.

It makes you numb

and prickly

all at the same time.

Sometimes you can't remember

anything but the aching loss

in your life, 

in your soul.

Sometimes the favorite memory

makes you laugh and smile

and sometimes it makes you

cry and cry.

It is shaking your fist at the sky

and crawling into the fetal position

and digging into the ground on your knees.

It is doing something you never tried before,

and hiding in a dark room,

and worrying when you will hit by lightning

or a bus or a car or if the big one will hit.

It makes you realize you need to live 

and it makes you feel like dying.

Sometimes all at once.

 

Grief is not just crying 

and feeling sad.

It is bigger, deeper, wider, taller, 

and more confusing

and frustrating.

And there is no way around it.

You won't find an answer

at the bottom of a bottle,

in cookies, cakes or pies,

in someone else's arms,

or by causing yourself harm.