Friday, September 13, 2013

Rainy days and Mondays...

It has been raining all week.
 It might as well be Seattle, except it's Albuquerque.

I continue to refuse to carry an umbrella, so I make do.  I wait out the rain, lucky I always have a book or a journal or something to do.  Or, I turn one of my many book bags into a makeshift rain cover and carry on.  Or, if all else fails, I just walk through the rain, after all I do not melt.

Yesterday, however, I felt like the sky was crying the tears I couldn't manage to make fall from my eyes.

Like a small child fighting sleep, I resist the tears that well and therefore cannot get any relief.

I imagine the relief on the other side, but I can't convince myself it will be alright ... the tears will fall, you will brush them aside and life will go on.  I see myself in the tight ball on the couch or clutching at the floor wildly or simply becoming a puddle on the floor and I can't. I just can't.

I was thinking, if I have learned anything in graduate school it is to believe in myself.  But there are some beliefs I can't seem to grasp yet.

There is always tomorrow and rain in the forecast through the weekend.

The blessing of relief may come yet.

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