On Staying Upright

In my family, we are good at steadfast.
We are good at strength and toughness.
We are generally good at follow through, especially if it is in someone else's favor.
We are good at anger and passion and joy.
There are limits to the emotions we own easily or readily.
But we are not so good at soft or vulnerable.  We mask hurt with anger and prefer to lash out than to ask for help -- at anything.
We are competitive -- maybe that has something to do with wanting and being willing to help others but not asking for help ourselves.

We are not so good at sad or showing pain.

Other people love our toughness.  It makes us good targets, excellent targets. But that is another story for another day.

So, staying upright is easiest when I am working for someone else ... not on my own things.
I am good at keeping commitments to others, so I established a writing schedule with a friend so that I will focus on work when we have agreed to work together.
It works, mostly, though, work ethic doesn't really answer how to deal with the grief when it comes.

So, I am working on handling it by just sitting with it.  When the tears roll, I try to just let them, not to feel or understand or question or wonder how long they will last.  I don't know if that is staying upright, but it isn't falling down and not getting up...