Forgiveness

So if you don't believe in apologies, how does forgiveness work?

Is forgiveness important or necessary to healing?

I am not sure I have an answer beyond the fact that trust must be rebuilt slowly but there is also a place for compassion and the benefit of the doubt.

I have been more than a little obsessed with this song originally sung by Don Henley and covered for Sex and the City (the first movie) by India Arie. It's called The Heart of the Matter. And the salient line goes: "I think it's about forgiveness."

And this line: "we all need a little tenderness, how can love survive in such a graceless age?"

Grace is something I haven't really considered since a classmate back in Catholic grade school told me she was stock piling grace by going to confession even when she didn't have anything to confess. And that's the kind grace I imagine they are singing about in this song. Not the one that refers to elegance, beauty or any attractive quality.

I imagine it is about the kind of theological grace. The one that refers to favor, good will, mercy. To quote the dictionary, the "freely given unmerited favor and love of God."

Though I don't believe in apologies. I am a fan of forgiveness because I do think just the act of trying to forgive provides grace. And by grace, I mean favor in the form of compassion. We may not always be successful on our first attempts at forgiveness, but just trying nourishes us with compassion and, perhaps, the strength to keep trying until we get it right. So, like my former classmate, Stephanie, by trying to forgive even we aren't necessarily capable, we are collecting grace. Something we always need.

Blessed be!