Then there are people whose spirit inspires me to believe that the world is a different (better) place because they are in it.
A couple of weeks ago, one of those people left this world. She was, indeed, a great lady.
There was something comforting about knowing that she was in this world -- that I knew her, and that her light could be shared by others.
I was attached to Betty in a series of ways ... I went to middle school with her granddaughter ... and her son married one of my cousins. He has been part of my life for so long that I don't really remember when he wasn't my cousin. As a result of these two connections, I knew her daughter and other grandchildren as well as my second cousins and now their children. She and her husband also attended the same church as my family. We were often at the same mass, and even then, it was comforting to look over and see Jim and Betty in their regular pew on the Virgin Mary side of the church.
I didn't know then that she wasn't Catholic but went to mass with her husband because it was an important part of his religious experience. You could see and feel the love between them ... and when he passed, I worried so much about her. But, she was such a strong woman, her love just went on without him being here. It is some solace to know that they are together again ... though we are left without them.
I see parts of her (and Jim) in my cousin's husband (her son) and their children... it is not surprising that one of her legacies would be that she left the world with little glittering pieces of her soul in the persons of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Her family (it's hard for me not to consider myself part of it) wrote a beautiful remembrance for her. I am sorry to be so far away that I couldn't be at the celebration of her life ... it was not for lack of love or appreciation for her. I am only sorry that I hadn't seen her in so long. I am sure my belief that she knew that my love for her never wavered. And... I was a recipient of her lovely thank you cards as mentioned below... treasures.
Here's what they wrote.
Betty June McGarry (1924 - 2012)
1924-2012
How do you write the story of a life? How is it possible to put into words the minutes, the seasons, the years? How do we capture the friendships we forged, the hands we held, the late-night kitchen conversations, the side-splitting laughter, the sunrise we'll never forget? When the end comes, those who remain do their best to put into words the essence of that life. But our words are usually hopelessly inadequate to the task - especially when the person being written about lived the kind of life that Betty June McGarry did.
Betty June "Nana" McGarry was born June 9, 1924, in Adel, Iowa, to Edith Dole (Andrews) and Dewey Beason. Two years later the Beasons moved to California and Betty's brother Richard ("Dickie") was born. Over the next dozen years the family moved more than 20 times as Dewey looked for work during the Great Depression, finally settling down long enough for Betty June to attend Ventura High School, from which she was graduated in 1942.
While World War Two raged in Europe, mutual friends set Betty up on a blind date with James ("Jim") McGarry, who was out of the Army on a medical discharge. Betty and Jim spent the night dancing and that, as they say, was that. They fell madly in love and married 1946. A year later daughter Julie (Callahan) was born, followed in 1952 by son Michael. The McGarry's lived in Oxnard for more than 60 years, raising their family and watching that family grow and expand over the years to include not only their own children but six grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren.
They attended St. Anthony's and Santa Clara churches and were active members of Elks Lodge 1443, where Jim was Exalted Ruler from 1996 to 1997. Betty June will be remembered for many things, but the love and devotion she had for her family is chief among them.
She had the unique ability to make everyone in her life feel as if they were her very best friend and she championed the dreams of her loved ones as fiercely as if they were her own. Betty had an infectious curiosity about the world around her and never stopped learning, even going back to finish her college degree at the age of 58. She played gin with a vengeance and was a ruthless cheat (those who played cards with her learned to never let her keep score). She caught a 500-pound marlin off the coast of Baja. She laughed deeply and often. She was passionate about travel and was happy to drop anything, anytime, to take a trip just about anywhere.
Before the car accident that ultimately claimed her life, she was planning a trip to Israel and had even joined a gym to ensure she would be ready for the physical rigors of the trip. Even at age 87 there was no slowing her down. In fact the only thing she ever slowed down for was giving thanks. In this ever-hurried world of instant gratification, Betty never ceased to take a moment to write thank-you notes. She sent thank you cards for gifts, for visits, for dinners.
She sent thank you cards for big gestures and small kindnesses. If you knew her longer than five minutes, there was a high probability that a thank you note would be on its way soon. And yet it is we who are thankful. We are thankful for her indomitable spirit, for her grace, for her sense of humor, for the passion with which she lived her life. And we are so very thankful to have been able to call her mother, Nana and Nana Betty. Betty June McGarry is survived by her daughter, Julie; son, Michael and daughter-in-law Margie; grandchildren, Patrick (Kelly), Dawn, Alison, Silvina (Gilberto), James, Joseph; and great-grandchildren, Connor, Chase, Chet, George, Christian, Mercer and Hudson.
In lieu of flowers, a donation in Betty's honor may be made to your favorite youth organization or church.
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