Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Rebound


This year, this school year that is, I thought I would begin with a cadre of friends... indeed, with a network, a safety net.

As it turns out, friendships and solidarity are more precarious than I imagined in my wildest dreams.

I keep forgetting that at my age it is easier to fall down than to forge relationships ... why was it so much easier when I was younger? Just like moving ... when I got divorced, I never questioned my decision to pack my car and move across the country to a place I had never lived with no new address. I just did it.

There are times when I have imagined that this was just me doing what I do best ... running away from trouble. When you think about it, it is not a terrible habit. But, then again, one must stand tall every once in a while. As Kenny Rogers said, it's important to know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

In any case, here I am ... feeling friendless and alone in the grand landscape of graduate school in a city and state where I have never lived before and used to describe as just plain weird.

And, the final analysis is that it is just fine.

It turns out I do have the resources to pull me through.

Lonely sometimes, yes, but it is not even close to the end of the world.

Not even close.

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