what you don't know...

I am trying to learn the maximum amount from my latest employment situation. (I wanted to say debacle, but I am trying to be less cynical and more silver lining.) Here's something I learned, or re-learned. (I wish I could say that I don't need to re-learn this, as I feel I have been in this space FAR too often.)

There is already a lot of subtext to this post, and it is only the second paragraph. YIKES.

Lesson: what you don't know will allow you to live blithely along.

Subtext: I would have done much better to note the craziness inwardly and never say a word about it...just plot my escape without ever trying to fix it or offer suggestions to fix it. I mean, so the boss may never hear from me the fascinating and fabulous idea for fixing something; or he/she won't hear how that latest idea is a dog; but he/she DIDN'T want to hear any of that anyway. What my quiet, acquiescent colleagues have on me is that they don't have to become the anti-christ, but I do. Trying to be honest in these situations was just another way for my boss to read me as disloyal, uncommitted and disrespectful. No return on my investment on truth and honesty. Write it down in your journal, tell your friend, keep it in the book of THE WAY I WOULD DO THINGS, but whatever you do, don't tell the boss. This will be my new mantra. I am going to make it into a little sign and post in near the light switch at home. I am going to make it cute and small and keep it in my pocket.

Inferred lesson: not all broken things need to be fixed; especially not by me

Subtext: I admit it, I do have an oversized sense of responsibility. After reading the OCD book, it makes me WONDER about myself. (But that might be another way for me to make this my failing; [haha, my subtext has a subtext which now has a subtext...super YIKES.] {So glad no one really reads this blog but me.}) As a result of the SUPER-SIZED conscience, when I see broken things, I want to fix them. No, I feel compelled to fix them; even worse, I feel compelled to tell people how to fix them. I just need to LET GO and let some things be broken.

Not really related lesson, but on my mind anyway: people who quietly contemplate and only pipe up once in a long while really do have the right idea. [Even though these kind of people really make me crazy, perhaps that is just me not understanding all the true lessons in the world.]

Subtext: It certainly would make my life easier to just SHUT THE FUCK UP. I am looking forward to learning about WISE SPEECH and then practicing it. Thank goodness, god, the goddess, all the little beings that make this world go round that I am going on the residential retreat. I can't wait; now I am on two countdowns.

5 work days left/11 days til retreat