quote of the day

What ought one to say then as each hardship comes? I was practicing for this, I was training for this?
- - Epictitus

If there were real hardship, I would feel justified in feeling this quote today.

These feelings are not real hardship: living on the street, watching those you love in pain, etc.

But these feelings are real and I have to live through them.

But I need to be willing to reach underneath the feelings and figure out where they come from. Why does it feel like hardship? Was there hardship once that has congealed into a mass that rises in my throat?

Today I held it together all day. Tired, exhausted, really. I didn't sleep last night. All the decongestants and allergy meds finally took my sleep completely. Then a full day of new people and then dinner with the colleagues.

Now I feel depleted and defeated. They took nothing from me, yet now I give them all the power and any sense of accomplishment I had today.

How can I let go of the pain (memory of hardship) and the bad thoughts I allow to fill my brain??

What are the steps?