Dark Chocolate Pretzels

I had a family-filled weekend including two large gatherings ... I don't know how many times each of us cried, or at least had eyes filled with tears, independently over the weekend.

Finally, Sunday night, my niece, my mom, nephew and I settled in to watch a movie -- and I suggested we watch The Book Thief.

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow plant

My niece looked at me with apprehension -- is it going to be too sad -- her look screamed.

I told her it was like chocolate pretzels, partly salty and partly sweet.

As the movie progressed, my nephew abandoned us for his video games.   My mom flew the coup to watch a Cantinflas movie.  But my niece and I persevered. 

Sometime near the end of the movie, I amended my description -- adding "dark" to the chocolate to connote the slight bitterness also evoked by the movie.

This also describes our time together -- in so many ways.  But especially as we learn how to get together without my brother and sister.

This time around my younger sister decided to bring out a game. 

We have carefully survived long family gatherings without our usual board games since we lost them.  There is too much of them in all of our memories of playing these games.

But A. ventured into that game - calling out directly my sister's memory.  My niece excused herself for a minute, pretending to go play with the dog, but returned with tears in her eyes.

I know that we all were secretly savoring that bittersweet memory.

I think this is moving forward, but I still think that it is odd that we can't grieve their loss together... it's a process.