On new moons and words of the year

I was chatting with a colleague a couple of weeks ago, and I blithely said, "My goal for this year is to conquer the writing demons."  I meant it, to be sure, and it seemed like such an easy and simple statement. But something in my body stirred at the word CONQUER.  It wasn't a sense of power, it was determination.

I started to wonder if CONQUER was revealing itself as my word of the year.

I have been working on it -- that is, I planted the seed back in December, thinking, surely the word would come.

I thought about the trajectory of words... open... fierce ... fearless.  They were all adjectives.  But, I wanted something that would not just connote action, I wanted an active word ... a verb.

I asked some people what they thought of the word.

It got some mixed reviews. 

Some could see what I do ... here is a word that shows my determination to prevail for myself.  It does not feel especially bellicose or violent, it feels determined. 

But others could only see it as a negative. 

I guess you have to know me better to understand why this word doesn't resonate for me as "against" anyone or anything.  For me it is about the determination, the perseverance.

It's hard to explain well.

I was reading something else later and another word jumped out at me: EMBARK.  Someone had suggested FORWARD, but it hadn't resonated.  EMBARK seemed to connote movement with purpose ... propelling oneself forward rather than just moving with the vicissitudes of the universe. 

I can't decide, but at the moment, I am considering having two words again ... but this weekend is the new moon and the start of the new lunar year, so I am going to try to decide before 11pm tomorrow night.

Yeah... I know this is not a new moon ... but it's a pick I had.

Chime in quickly if you have a thought.