No, Please

My niece, the littlest one (for now), likes to control her interactions with everyone ... at least, that is how it feels when she is around "us" -- by "us" I mean my birth family.  I mean not her mother, my sister-in-law.  You can tell, I am sure, that there are others stories to go with this last statement.

But, I came here to talk about "no, please."

we were talking to each other through the balloons

When E. doesn't want you to do something, or she doesn't want to answer your question, or in general would like you to go away, she says, "No, please."  If you insist, it becomes, "NO, Please!!"

She never ungripped the balloons ...

If you continue to insist, it becomes, "GO AWAY!"  And with this, her head will be buried in her mother's shoulder.  Because if she were under her own power, she would have run away at the first "no, please."

It took me a long time to understand that by "no, please, " she was trying to articulate, "no thank you..." As in, I would rather not ... play with you, talk to you, tell you how I feel, etc.

Sometimes it is playful, but other times is it forceful and purposeful.  I push the envelope every time until I get the NO, GO AWAY!!

I love that she expresses what she wants; I worry that she needs to learn realistic limits... but it is not my job to teach her those.  So, I play with her until she is irritated.  Mostly because irritated is pretty darn cute.

I wonder, in the long run, how "no, please" will translate into E's older selves ... what will it be like when she has more words (she just turned 2) to articulate her wants? What will it be like when she is a teenager -- full of words but potentially not interested in sharing them?  Will she write poetry, like her dad?  Will she cry in the corner or lash out with her fists when her words fail her?

I was reading Andrea's post about her sons and some of the ways that they articulate "Am I lovable?" -- through word and actions.  

And, the first picture that popped in my head was Miss E -- head buried in her hands at the end of her birthday celebration. 

She was exhausted, but happy to have her house all to herself again -- except for the lingering interlopers ... principally my sister and I.  She simultaneously wanted to be the center of our attention and to not have us there at all. 

Ah ... to have the right and the power to demand just what we want even when it is contradictory.  The joys of being TWO!

 [Photo credits: my lil sister's iphone, this photo shoot came at the end of a long birthday celebration at her house -- an extended tea party for the adults and children.]