Wrangling the Inner Teenager

One would think that I have too much experience wrangling my inner teenager. But it is rather like Holly Golightly's mean reds. It hits you and you are unable to understand why you feel this way until you remember.

Unfortunately for me, the realization usually doesn't happen until I am listening to a song like this:
Then I remember the horrible teen age years ... there is no hope there, no light; just reveling in the darkest corners of the heart. And that is where TFF takes me.
"Is this the start of the breakdown ... I can't understand you." I always think of this as the lightest of that first album ... the one I wore out on my record player: Now I listen to them and I remember those dark days, and pain is heightened ... but feeling is good ... feeling pain means I am still alive.

I am trying to use these memories to delve into the survival of the dark days... and to harness the anger and pain that I channeled into that survival.  I need to spin it into super productive days.

I am closing in on resetting the date for my qualifying exams ... reworking a study schedule and checking the attitude.  Need one that is set to work hard and be frustrated less.

Also closing in on the word of the year -- got to decide before the next new moon which is coincidentally the lunar new year: that of the snake... time to shed the old and welcome the new.

The inner teenager needs to let go and allow a productive adult to be free -- keeping what was constructive and resourceful and leaving behind the bitterness.

Send me some psychic support y'all.