Wednesday, January 18, 2012

schedules, chaos and equanimity

The universe knows what it's doing.

But sometimes it just feels like I am always getting spanked.

I made a schedule.

I color coded it.

I put in almost every thing I have to do ... including sleep.

And this week, I tried to put it into action.

It's funny because while I was working over the weekend, I talked about how crazy that schedule was.  And the boot campers talked (when they weren't silent) about how you sometimes have to let go.

I was thinking a lot about being TYPE A... I was wondering is there a Type A-... because I am over controlling like a Type A but I am not concerned enough with outcome to be the perfectionist that Type A intimates. 

Well, in any case, on Monday, I jumped into that pretty color coded schedule I made.  I woke early, worked for money for several hours, and got ready to go for a run.  This was, in fact, all in the schedule.  But, then I locked myself out ... and all the plans I had for the afternoon had to shift.

I was not a happy camper... in fact, I was so angry about being off schedule that I got a headache, didn't eat, and was fairly unproductive (not all in the same order) for quite a few hours. The universe thought I hadn't quite got the message, so there were a few more things that didn't go the way I planned.

Ah... plans how I love to make you... and how you love to go awry.

It took a good long time (and food and coffee helped) to figure out that the universe was trying to remind me about that goal I had ... to be open... extends to going with the flow.

So, eventually, I settled into that reality.  I did some work and made friends with the baristas at my not-regular sb... and felt so much better when I realized I could go with the flow.

photo credits: me, Mendocino, Feb 2009

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