i had a dream

... in it I was seen, known, understood ... easily.

I felt safe and loved and exalted...

and then I woke up.

For too long, I have been waiting for that dream to happen in waking time.

That is to say, for someone to see me... and understand without judging.

I know ... I have known ... that the critic that needs to pipe down is not outside me.

And, yet... I still seek that outside affirmation, foolishly imagining that it will change something, anything.

If I am going to embrace fearless, I am going to have to stop listening to the inner critic -- it doesn't mean silencing, that may never happen. But I need to find the way to make it background noise.

I am visualizing what my dad told me a long time ago:
Be like a duck, mija, let it roll off your back.

Picture me wiggling the backside to get rid of the painful criticism...