There are so many reasons why I love that movie -- principally for the girl power quality it has -- but also for what this grouchy man tells her earnestly: that at the end of the day, you only have what you have made of your life ... if it is heading in the wrong direction, take control and change direction.
I was thinking about this a bit when I heard this story Friday morning. I will tell you about it, but you must hear it to really understand the story. You need to hear their voices.
A young man, sixteen, involved in "gang activity" got into a fight with another young man, twenty, and the twenty-year-old died. The sixteen-year-old went to jail for a long time, and as he was about to finish his sentence, he finally accepted the request of the man he killed's mother to see him.
Long story short: she forgave him...and now they are more than friends, almost like mother and son.
The story of forgiveness is sweet and painful at the same time, but it is the enduring relationship that they built that is more impressive.
You can forgive and walk way... but to stay and show every day that you really believe the person has changed, to participate in the change and to let go of resentment, that is much more challenging, and, probably more healing and certainly more meaningful.
It requires compassion, but it also requires strength, courage and a belief in the goodness of people.
That belief is what I equate with vulnerability.
Others might call it spirituality or faith. I guess I can see that, but I think that it has more to do with being open...making yourself vulnerable to others....laying yourself bare, that is... particularly with issues that are closest to your heart. Those issues that make us feel most exposed... unprotected...
I don't have any answers, I just know that vulnerability is the way, if we can figure out how to
access and embrace it.
Photo credit: me... Alaska 2008
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