Saturday, February 21, 2009

WOW

I am listening to the Bill Moyers show I taped last night while I was making dinner for a friend... just as I finished and sat down to rest, I got this special gift (I added the emphasis):

BILL MOYERS: What do you do when you hit bottom?
PARKER PALMER:
Well, nothing for quite a while. And people sometimes say depression is like being lost in the dark. My experience is it's more like becoming the dark. You don't have a sense of self any longer with which you can stand back and say, "Oh, I have this disease and it, too, will pass."

The voice of depression takes over. And all you can hear is the darkness which is you. And I think what you learn at that point is a couple things. One is there's huge virtue in simply getting out of bed in the morning, by which I mean learning to value the fact that you can take one step at a time.

The second thing you learn is that you need other people. You don't need their advice. You don't need their fixes and saves. But you need their presence. I sometimes liken standing by someone who is in depression as being like the experience of sitting at the bedside of a dying person because depression is a kind of death, as is addiction and other serious forms of mental illness.

You have to be with that person in an unafraid way. Not invading them with your fixes, not hooking them up to wires or whatever the non-medical equivalent of that is, giving them advice, but simply saying to them with your very presence, your physical presence, your psychological presence, your spiritual presence, I am not afraid of being with you on this journey of the — at the end of this road.

Truly, I needed to hear this. And I did feel held, in that moment.

If you want to watch the whole segment with Parker Palmer, you will find it here. Thanks Parker and Bill, you guys are the best!

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