I am still trying to figure out...

why I insist on coming home for Christmas...

and staying...

yeah, there is something of a story there, but it is not nice or interesting, so that's all I have.

UPDATE...
So, I took a little time and wrote in my paper journal this afternoon. It was by no means earth shattering, but afterwards, I was breathing more deeply and feeling so much lighter.

It may have to do with mailing application number 3... who knows?

I am hoping to finish application number 4 tonight and turning my attention to apps 5 and 6... it could be over very soon.