I was composing this post in my head as I walked to the bus terminal -- trying to figure out if compassion could be applied posthumously into my memory of the weekend (and bemoaning the fact that I didn't actually inject compassion into the situation as it happened).
Compassion -- for me and the patience I didn't have and for my siblings for the judgements we made about each other's actions.
I was thinking about how difficult it is to remake yourself -- or to be your genuine self (new self, adult self) when we are thrust back into the old (read: family) situation.
As if a sign from the universe, I looked up and saw a huge flock of birds swirling and moving in a large mass -- round and round they went creating new shapes, zig zagging in wide arches in search of bugs, I guess.
And I was awed at their ability to stay in harmony, to move as one. I considered the kind of communication they must achieve without recognizing the times some must have flown into another, throwing another off balance, moving him/herself out of position and then recovering enough to stay in formation.
Envious, I mused on whether that is what it is like being in a congenial family that doesn't interact like a bunch of middle schoolers -- you know, punching and pulling hair as a sign of affection. I wondered what it would be like to interact like the birds -- congruous, flexible, resilient.
Then they broke into two groups just as I was entering the bus terminal leaving me to ponder the meaning.
Compassion -- for me and the patience I didn't have and for my siblings for the judgements we made about each other's actions.
I was thinking about how difficult it is to remake yourself -- or to be your genuine self (new self, adult self) when we are thrust back into the old (read: family) situation.
As if a sign from the universe, I looked up and saw a huge flock of birds swirling and moving in a large mass -- round and round they went creating new shapes, zig zagging in wide arches in search of bugs, I guess.
And I was awed at their ability to stay in harmony, to move as one. I considered the kind of communication they must achieve without recognizing the times some must have flown into another, throwing another off balance, moving him/herself out of position and then recovering enough to stay in formation.
Envious, I mused on whether that is what it is like being in a congenial family that doesn't interact like a bunch of middle schoolers -- you know, punching and pulling hair as a sign of affection. I wondered what it would be like to interact like the birds -- congruous, flexible, resilient.
Then they broke into two groups just as I was entering the bus terminal leaving me to ponder the meaning.
Posts
Every family's different.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time with my family because they bring out the best AND worst in me. When I'm with them, I can be the sort of person that lights up a room. But I can also be the sort of person that will punch someone in the face if they laugh at me or ask me too many questions.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably a good thing I live 3000 miles away from them. I'm unconvinced the tradeoff is worth it.