Sunday, December 10, 2006

orbits and magnetic pull

I wish now that I had taken some serious science courses. At least one physics course. Is that the one that would explain how orbits work? Somehow, knowing the difference between igneous and sedimentary rock or the intricacies to creating dams are all superfluous bits of information.

From where does this new found need for science come?? Well, I need to find a job now. I have enjoyed my unemployment, perhaps a little too much, but it is time to bite the bullet and find a job. I look through job postings sites, friends send me great opportunites; there are so many jobs available. I download job descriptions by the dozen.

Everything seems like something I could do, but will I do it without getting sucked into obsessing about it. That's what I want, by the way, a job I don't care about. I am so over caring so much about what I do, as if it really mattered. There is no job in the world that can replace a real life. So there I am with stacks of job descriptions and tangled webs of emotions that lead to that dreaded obsession. I keep looking and looking, and I know that it is not about what kind of job at all.

What I need to do is figure out how to make the job orbit around me instead of having it be the center of my universe. I believe it really is in my control to change that orbit. But, I am pretty sure it has something to do with magnets, and I have a bunch of those tiny mighty magnets.

Just kidding. Actually, I know that is in my control to change this orbit thing...and since it really is just a metaphor or whatever, I also know that it doesn't have anything to do with magnets, no matter how cute or dangerous for small children that they might be.

It's a personal challenge to put myself in the center. A constant battle, actually. I imagine somehow if I can make myself useful that I will then feel accomplished, but I end up only feeling put upon. When in doubt, spending the time exercising, reading a book, taking a walk, or just musing quietly to myself are always the better ways for me to feel accomplished and fulfilled.

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