healthy

But often we get sick, or feel exhausted, because we don’t make the effort to galvanize the power of our minds in the service of our physical health, which is one of its most important functions. We really can use it to communicate to our bodies, yet we often regard the two as separate entities that have little to do with one another.

From Daily Om

I have been nearly continually ill -- with health challenges of every shape and size -- since January. [Feeling much better now ... weaning myself off the allergy meds right now.]

I agree that the exhaustion and illness is partly due to not taking care of myself.  I don't just mean that I avoided sick people, washed my hands and took my vitamins ... I always take my vitamins and eat healthy choices, I am not into hand sanitizer, but I know how to wash my hands ... as to avoiding sick people, it was nearly impossible to do that.

In any case, sickness seeped in from every crevice because I wasn't doing the other things I should do for myself ... exercise, write, take a break, etc... be good to myself in general.

It is quite apparent in retrospect ... but crawling out of the sickly abyss has been challenging.

Still trying to figure out how to do the self care ... the hardest part about being alone is having to be the judge, cheerleader, confessor, confidante and best friend to myself.  I am really good at the judging, not so much on the nurturing.

I imagine myself so much better at nurturing others, perhaps that is an illusion.  But, I can't seem to do for me -- particularly when I really need it.

Instead, I spiral down into the well of needing outside affirmation ... all the while not asking it of my friends... it is not a pretty story. 

I am hoping to make it a story in the past ... but it takes all the energy I have to remember to be there for myself.

Wish me luck.