People Irritate Me

Sometimes it just needs to be said.

I don't know if it is a particular person (or if it were that I would say), but people really irritate me. I want to say sometimes to make myself sound less like a crazy self-centered hermit, but at least at this moment, it feels like it's an all the time thing.


I could blame these feelings on any number of physical frailties or just on the moon phases or other obital patterns. Bottom-line, this is what I need to work on.


COMPASSION.


Embracing people where they are, while they are there... not later after processing and being ok with doing the bigger, better thing.


Sadly, it is also the thing I want most from the world.


Like so many many situations in life, that which you either want the most or fear the most is what will trip you up... or just present itself whenever you get comfortable.


I rode the bus with Mabel again this morning as well. Today she was much cheerier than on our first meeting. She tried to chat with one of the Chinese ladies who also had a cart... a little cart lady bonding. I don't know if the other lady didn't understand Mabel or just didn't want to chat; and that made really sad. I felt badly for having bad thoughts about Mabel in the past and got a little more window onto her lonely world.


The fact is that I was at the bus stop with her, waiting in a not very patient way for the bus to appear. I could have talked to her; just made small talk. But instead, I looked away, studied the bus schedule, looked for the bus, checked the time, etc. It was wasted time that at least could have been used to make small talk with a lady who might not get to make small talk all that often.


That less generous side of myself is not my most flattering...


It was an awful rollercoaster kind of a day for me with all this crap...