Testing... and Being Tested

It doesn't seem like a bad thing to put your little toe in the water to see the temperature, right? It seems like a natural reaction to a situation whose outcome is unknown to you. I am sure we do it all the time without thinking about how the other person might feel. I mean, it seems like the appropriate thing for a rational person to do. Except when someone else is testing your temperature.

Then it feels like a lack of faith, it feels like pressure to perform... it feels like, gee, I must not seem like a good bet. Then I start to worry that maybe I do have something to prove, and maybe being tested is the proof that just plain old me is not enough.

I need to resist the temptation to read too much into it... especially since, though I often seem like a crazy person plunging in where others wouldn't dare, I am actually quite careful, calculating as much as is humanly possible, and checking the stars for what is not.