Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Slippery Slope or Just the Thing?

For the past few weeks months, I have been hording this idea (because it never actually even made it into draft form).  It started out titled, hanging up the red cape.  This was meant to be where I told you that I had decided that my do-gooding days were over.  I have spent all my professional career doing good of one sort or another.  And, one of the lessons I learned in all of those years is that it is nearly impossible to "fix" anything.  This doesn't mean that you can't do good or even that I didn't do good for someone or something. Just that I learned my ability to "fix" was not all I thought it was ... or that maybe I needed to approach work as something other than fixing serious social issues that most people walk by ...

Fast forward a few months -- I quit my graduate program for a lot of reasons, but at its base the decision was largely founded on the idea that I was not longer obligated (I would try really hard not to feel obligated) to *fix* teacher education.  This was not an admission that it didn't need to be fixed or even that I felt that I didn't have something to offer the possible solutions.  Rather, it was an admission that I didn't need to be the one who did this work.  That is to say, that I realized that I didn't need to be someone's (or several someones') whipping gal in order to gain the coveted letters that would allow me to do the work ... and here is where it gets hard because I really do feel *sometimes* that I was born to do this work.

So, yeah, I put the cape in the closet.  It had a good run. 

I am wondering now if maybe I should have actually placed that red cape in the donation bin.

Or maybe I am just overreacting...

You see, I went to this job fair at the local school district -- to become a substitute because it seemed like a money maker for me to show on paper that I was making a living ... so I could get an apartment -- that is a whole other story I am not ready to write about yet.

And I sidled up to the check in table at the "event" and the woman asked, "What kind of teaching job are you interested in?" and the answer should have been SUBSTITUTE. 

Alas, that is not what came out of my mouth ... no, I said, "I am interested in dual language immersion schools at the elementary level."

Yup, I did that ... maybe in the back of my mind I was thinking this is just an exercise in research, except I was no longer doing research or even contemplating research, right?

There were four schools at the fair, and I talked to three principals.  And I sort of developed a crush for two of those principals... and one of them invited me to come to tour the school.  I was so interested, and sort of unprepared for that invitation, that I whipped out my phone and we settled on a time and day the following week.

Fast forward a bit and I fell in love with the school, and I agreed to be interviewed...and today I will be delivering a sample lesson.

So, is it just a good paying job that I don't have to commit the rest of my life to? Or is it a super slippery slope back into those red cape days?

I have been struggling with this for quite some time ... I keep hoping and praying for some other job opportunity to come up that I would actually apply for.  Alas... here I go.

Pray for me ... not sure it will work or anything will work.

Actually, I know that this is a great opportunity for me to try out my boundary building skills... and third graders are real cute...

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