|Me & Chila on the Alaska Cruise, 2008|
|Greg, me & Chila, circa 1971|
We need to leave today because this weekend, my brother-in-law has planned to have a celebration of my sister's life and to scatter her ashes.
|The family, Easter 1972|
I wish I could explain the depth of the pain it causes me to write those words.
|Sisters on D Street, circa 1973|
I can barely keep from crying when I have to say what I have been through in the past 13 months.
This month's 19 will be hard... there isn't any 19 that isn't hard, last month was one year since we lost my brother.
But, this is somehow more painful.
It might just be my inner-teenager trying to protect me, but I have resisted saying goodbye to my sister.
|The family, October 2009|
You can't force someone to say goodbye, can you?
|Sisters, May 2010|
I wanted us to join hands in a circle around my sister and not give up.
I wanted a miracle.
I knew that was the only way that she could come back to us.
|The Family, July 2, 1994|
Planning, worrying, making sure everyone was okay and had what they needed.
I didn't have time to feel or process.
And, I didn't feel safe.
I don't know if I will find a safe space to mourn my sister this weekend.
The past few weeks have been so full of stress and anxiety.
I barely started breathing again yesterday, and now this...
|The Fab Five, October 2009|
The site of so many parties, weddings, and horseshoe playing.
We will put up a plaque to my sister in this place.
And then we will hike to the top of the mountain to let her go.
If only letting go were that easy.
Pray for us.
It seems unbearable to me right now.
Rest in peace, Chila.