re-entry

I have been contemplating how to come back to the blog ... of course, I have been stashing things in the drafts folder.  But without a good sense for what is appropriate to share anymore.  This is still the place where difficult feelings come for revelation, but I still don't want to have a grief blog.  So, what to do?

If I am not completely off (and that is entirely possible after the long afternoon/evening of travel and late arrival and then working at 6:30a this morning) then this is Thursday.  So, it seems appropriate enough to return with a quote.

"After the dead are buried, after the physical pain of grief has become a permanent wound in the soul, then comes the transcendent and common bond of human suffering, and with that comes forgiveness, and with forgiveness comes love." ~ Andre Dubus  

I have been reading a daily affirmation email that I signed up for at the mortuary site... yes, that is where I live right now.

And this was the piece I found when I went looking for some courage to leave my house this afternoon ... work, work and more work. I imagine it will help, but it hasn't really kept the monsters from peeking from beneath the bed today.

I am not at forgiveness; I am no where near transcendence.  But I am learning a little too much about human suffering -- it is deeper and more layered than I could have ever imagined when I was fifteen and desperately sad.  I have been spending a little too much time with my inner teenager, but she offers such stalwart protection, it is hard to ask her to leave or to walk away from her.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.