sleepless nights

Is there anything more useless than staying awake all night worrying about things that you cannot control??

I finished reading my book, but I refused to do any of the work I felt was hanging over my head.

Finally around 5 am, when my alarm usually goes off, I fell asleep. Two hours later I was dragging myself out of bed in order to make it to work on time.

Then, of course, I made it to work on time only to not find ONE parking space with a working meter... quarters in hand and no working meters. It's like being all dressed up with no where to go. As I circled endlessly, gave up and parked in the ten minute parking area, I could see the little parking enforcement gremlin giving me a ticket. I spent the next few minutes staring out my office window ... waiting for a parking space to open up on the street.

Finally, there it was, the perfect spot, right across the street from my office, heading the absolute right direction to hit the freeway when I was on my way to the appointment. I make it down the elevator and around the block and the parking space is still there... and wouldn't you know the meter was broken. This time I couldn't deal... I wrote a note. I lied. I said I had put money in when I hadn't, then to appease my guilt, I put in one quarter... why stuff it with quarters that it won't even register?

I could feel the bad karma swirling around me... I would get a ticket... I was so desperately tired, I would crash on my long trek to the appointment... any number of horrible scenarios passed through my mind. How's that for positive thinking?

By the time I was back up the elevator and in my office.... I had decided not to be negative. I survived Friday the 13th the other day; making myself feel better by saying that it's not my cultural superstition... mine would be Tuesday the 13th if I had one at all. So no more bad thoughts... banished.

And though it was the longest day ever on only two hours of sleep... it was fine. The focus groups, frustrating as it is to sit and listen and not be able to opine, went really well... hours of transcribing ahead of me notwithstanding. It was a good day.

Two in a row; who would have imagined it????