Faith and a New Determination

Faith:
I am no longer a practicing Catholic, but I don't think you can ever really be ex-Catholic or whatever religion you were raised in. Faith lives in the same space in your heart, soul and mind regardless of the faith experience you choose to express. Even if you begin to practice another faith the feelings will show up in the same place where your previous training lives. All that to say that when I hear deep faith expressed, especially when it comes from a Catholic, it touches that faith memory.

Though I can't even be a "cafeteria Catholic," choosing some beliefs and eschewing others in order to create a comfortable place in a Catholic church, I still admire those who feel a deep calling to God through the Catholic church and those who express their deep faith in their everyday lives. So I was especially touched by this story. You can hear the depth of the faith these seminarians feel. It is not that they do not see the challenges life offers, it is that they believe.

A New Determination:
The media offers us so much input, it's hard sometimes to decide how to filter. Yesterday afternoon, I had a conversation with a colleague about taking a break from media. I was remembering Andrea's post about taking a week off to see what making time for the rest of the world would offer. I realized that I had just come off a few days of very limited media access -- since I listen to NPR all day at work, having only a few seconds of local news or even CNN is like a media blackout for me! I recognized in this conversation that having a few days without all the media input had helped me to relax.

I didn't realize it at the time, but as I listened to the news yesterday morning, trying desperately to catch up with the Obama "bitter" comment controversy, my shoulders started to hunch up and feel tense. Granted, it is a lot of computer sitting making me stiff, but it was also about the tension that I could feel myself taking in from all the bad news I was reading and listening to. Newspaper editors and local news producers know what people like to read: crime, death, and any other mayhem. I am no different than the market research will tell you; so, yes, I choose the stories that I listen to on npr and the stories I read in the newspapers I always read online.

I spent some time, in the back of my mind, thinking about how I might filter my media input. Can I limit my npr-listening, tv watching or news-reading? I was recalling the lovely time I had this weekend out in nature; seeing the treasures of the desert (will post more in the VERY NEAR FUTURE on this). But, let's be real. I am a NEWS JUNKIE. There is no chance that I am going to give it all up completely. It's like saying I will never eat dessert again. I have been able to give a lot of treats with my new eating habits over the past three weeks, but I still make room in my calorie intake for dessert.

This morning on the bus, I decided that one of the tens things that I can do RIGHT NOW to improve every day of my life is to look for AT LEAST ONE story that demonstrates happiness or joy or at least a SILVER LINING to tough issues that we face each day. I am not sure if the story above about why there aren't a lot of new recruits to the seminary is the best one to demonstrate happiness or joy...except that hearing these two men talk about their calling made me feel lighter.

When the interviewer wishes them peace at the end of the conversation, and they respond in unison "and also with you" a whoosh-like sigh moved through me. It was the memory of saying those words, and meaning them, during mass. It was knowing how meaningful those words can be regardless of it being part of a script we had all internalized. It was the faith these men had described that made me believe they believe.

May peace be with you.