the local bar

I decided today, especially since I am officially liberated, that I should attend happy hour. Nevermind that no one I know was available to go with me... I don't need company to go to happy hour, right?? I mean, plenty of other people will be there. It's just that, well, other people irritate or scare me or both, alternating.

Since I have been having difficulty not having responsibilities in my freedom, and especially since when I told my friend today, proudly, that I was so proud of myself for taking myself to the Starbucks to work on my resume, she replied, I would like to hear that you went to Starbucks to read the paper, I decided that maybe I was taking freedom too seriously.

Instead of going to volunteer at the non-profit where I am on the board, after my productive morning at Starbucks (and the morning run!), I visited with a friend, and then I went to a leisurely pupusa lunch with another friend. After all that, I still could have gone to do some volunteering, but, instead, I came home, watched some tv and then went to the bar.

I have been without a regular bar for a while... partly because I relaxed the one night out a week rule, and partly because I just haven't been up to organizing happy hours. Well, tonight, I went to a bar I consider a meat market to have drinks. Not quite the neighborhood bar, ala cheers, but it turned out ok.

I ended up sitting next to the woman who works in the office as the financial manager, who was probably all of 25. She was interested in life and had a great sense of humor...so, well, we chatted and pretty soon, it was two hours later and we hadn't run out of things to talk about.

It turns out I am a nice and fun person to be around. Imagine that.

Maybe the working on how I present myself and trying to JUST BE MYSELF without walls, recrimination or other defense mechanisms works.

I can hardly really believe it, but I am trying.