Scenes from my life right now

I keep wanting to write about what's going in my life right now, but then I don't do it.  Not that there is really anything going on ... I haven't applied for more jobs, my current job is giving me less and less hours, I am picking up other gigs on the side, trying to outfit my apartment.

So those are lots of things that are actually happening and it is all my life.

But this is not what is going on for me right now.

A lot of what is going on is being sad, crying, grieving... sometimes to the point of paralysis, but other times just as a release.

I try to keep honoring this process, but I am getting scared about how long it will take ... particularly about how long my savings will allow me to follow the path before I need to just get a job, any job.

I am spending too much time in my space alone ... perhaps too much, maybe just right.

It means most of these pictures are scenes from the doorway of my aparment.

This one is detail on the rain we got a couple of weeks ago... this is the little lemon tree my friend bought me!

[Non sequitur, I want to name it.  I am feeling it is a "him" and the name that always pops in my head is Elroy.  Not sure why, but I haven't really committed to it, yet. Your comments are welcome.]

The view from my apartment is really gorgeous... sunny or cloudy...

 even rainy and with ominous clouds threatening...

And I have been recording the animal visitors...

I guess the good news is that I have been getting out more this past week ... today actually marks day 7 of exercising out of doors ... next picture scenes from my life will reflect that change.

And maybe I will even start writing regularly again ... I can't predict.