Harnessing Grief

Blow.

[The air moves swiftly through and then out of my puckered lips.]

Sometimes the thoughts cascading through my head are so overwhelming I need to let off steam, so I blow.

This is how I felt as I reached the end of this article.

Mr. Williams captures the intensity of the grief and compassion of these women so clearly.

"Their group, formed in 2005, is ... working to eliminate the source of their sadness, starting with getting illegal guns off Harlem streets. ... The mothers are also trying to organize a series of forums at schools and community centers to try to convince children that shooting someone does not make a boy a man."

He doesn't hold back any of the emotions, but he doesn't prey on their vulnerability in a voyeuristic way. This is how it is and this is what it feels like.

"What the mothers tend to have in come are afflictions that include episodes of anxiety so intense that their bodies stiffen as tight as a shell, while inside, their hearts pound so fast they fear they are having a heart attack; anger so raw that they conjure up detailed revenge fantasies in which they, or intermediaries, kill those who took their children away; and sadness so complete they isolate themselves and are unable to smile for months at a time."

It's powerful enough.

"After her son's death, Ms. Royster-Hills said, people unfairly questioned the way she had raised him. Tears covered her face; she paused as she was handed a tissue. 'The worst mother in the world should not have to go to the morgue and identify her child with a bullet in his head,' she said softly."

It doesn't need any sugar coating to make it more palatable.

"Either I was going to hate teenagers, or I was going to do something," she said.

Read the article. It will be time well spent.

Addendum: SF Gate is chronicling the loss of life in Oakland. It is a much less satisfying way to honor the lives and hope lost with those lives, but it's something, I guess.