rudderless or learning to steer with your eyes closed

Close your eyes and what happens?
Do the other senses become sharper?

Wander without a map, are you lost?
Or are you experience life without a net?

Months into my sabbatical, I sometimes feel like I should know more about what I want to do next.

I search and search inside and outside.

I have learned this:
I don't have to do any one thing for the rest of my life.
I am often afraid that there are things I can't do or can't prove I can do.
And...
I am sure that I can do anything I want to do.
I still don't know what I want.
I have not, yet, learned to name what I want so that I can claim it.
I am fairly sure that once I name it, there are no logical reasons that I cannot have it.
It feels rudderless.
Control is a bad habit I need to overcome.

It feel like I am steering a boat with my eyes closed. I am pretty sure that I will not hit anything or anyone; it's not like steering a car with your eyes closed.

But, there is some danger that I will wander. Aimlessly? I won't be lost because wherever I am, I will definitely be there. Can I handle not knowing where I will land next?