The Movie Pledge

Way back when (2015), the Academy saw fit to nominate no movies or actors who were appreciably African American or any other ethnicity that was not white. Folks called out the Academy with the hashtag #oscarssowhite. Knowing that we need to take personality responsibility around this issue instead of just being outraged lest the Academy slip back into their whiteness, I made a pledge that year.

I pledged to not *pay* for any movie (including others inviting me and paying) that did not have at least one lead actor who was not white.

I extended that pledge to not watching any TV show that did not have at least one lead character played by a not white actor.

The pledge is limiting ... and sometimes what I am able to watch is less than satisfying.

I am into this pledge a full five years now ... and I have noticed that TV folks have figured out that some of us want more than white leads.

This year, in particular, a bunch of new shows not only had all non-white leads (Party of Five reboot, for example), but several had super diverse casts (Nancy Drew, The Deputy), including out and proud LGBTQ, though sadly light on trans except for Pose.

Movies, however, have not caught up.

I have some thoughts on this I will share as soon as I can get some time to write.

***links above track the #oscarssowhite from 2016 to now

Recommendations

I have been thinking about writing a recommendation for a book I just loved ... and now I have another two things to recommend.

It's been a long time since I felt the strength to do a NRU... honestly, I am still not there. But I read this piece and fell in love. *wink*

We all need a little more inspiration to 1) be ourselves and 2) open to possibilities despite setbacks.

***please note it has been so long since I started this post that I honestly cannot remember the other thing besides the book I was going to recommend.***

The book ... a while back, because I have been moving the publish date on this post for MONTHS, I listened to Hunger by Roxane Gay. I have been listening to books more than reading, but I still call it reading. I hope that is okay.

So, Roxane Gay and her memoir Hunger - wow, WOW, I listened to the author read her memoir. I heard the life in the words. It was amazing.

My takeaway was that every WOMAN should listen to this book. Not read. Listen. There are dark spots, a lot of them, that you need to push through to get to the honey. Because it is sweet when you get past the darkness, when you are deep inside the heart of Roxane Gay, it is all sweetness and reality. And those two things do not always go together as perfectly as they did in this book.

You should listen to it.

You will learn to love your body and hear the story it is telling you every day, at least a little bit you will learn this, by listening to this book. You will, at least, learn that loving your body and listening to its stories is life changing.

Or maybe you won't ... as some reviewers have noted, and Gay herself has as well, this is not a book about transformation. It is not a victory lap. It is not this is how you do it.

But, for me, it was a how to and why to love your body, just as it is, and to listen to your body because it is engaging you in the dialogue every day, even when our too busy minds and emotions are yelling loudly over our bodies attempts at conversation.

You should listen to it.

Read/listen to this book, if you are a woman, or a man, or whatever, and you have not yet committed to loving your body and listening to its stories.

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This is not the other thing that I was meaning to recommend when I started this post, but I have come upon this realization in the past two weeks: I am not only more productive when I listen to books while I work, I am more peaceful. My emotions to do not get the better of me when I am listening to a book and someone asks me for the work item I delivered three weeks ago, or tries to dump their work in my lap because I am a good worker, or tries to organize my work life to make their lives easier. I just smile and listen to my book and do my work.

My blood pressure appreciates listening to a good book. Maybe your blood pressure loves listening to a book, too.

wow...

If it is not too late where you live, get out there and see this movie:

I cannot say enough good things about this movie, but I don't want to give anything away.

For anyone who was ever an awkward teenager, or experienced loss, or had cause to regret, you will find something in Me Earl and the Dying Girl.

The actors are so natural, I swear they were not acting.  The writing is priceless.  It is hilarious and moving and fun and tragic and deep and real and hilarious!

Martin

Forty seven years ago, Martin went home and left a void in our world.

Today, to honor that loss, I finally went to see Selma. 

I had heard how good a movie it was from many people.  But I knew it was going to be difficult to watch. 

It is not that anything would be portrayed in that movie that I didn't already know about.  But it is qualitatively different to read about it than to witness a reenactment.  Perhaps I have even already seen footage.  But, I still knew that the brutality would be unbearable.

But, I like depressing movies you might say.  The last film I saw was Still Alice -- heartbreaking, but beautiful and in its own way uplifting. 

This was different.   

All the while I was watching it, all I could do was think of all the people who have given so much of themselves so that we don't have to fight this battle anymore -- and of all the young men and women of color who have died at the hands of the police, lately and historically.

Watching those batons come down on the protesters felt like bearing witness to the continued deaths of so many people.

Tears streamed down my face for much of the movie.  I could not help but look away when the most brutal attacks were on the screen.

It is a great film.  Very well done, very well acted and directed.  But it is brutal... more for the echoes of what we continue to live despite the many blood sacrifices already given.

RIP James Garner...

I love me some Rockford Files... and just about anything else that starred James Garner.
 [Links included for the uninitiated.]



I was already full of memories and some tears when I heard on the radio as I drove home that James Garner had passed away.  I was imagining my sister and brother welcoming Mr. Garner to the other side.  She is the biggest Garner fan I know ... her favorites were not mine, but there was plenty to agree on anyway.

May he rest in peace... and thanks for the many memorable characters - especially the terminally flawed yet redeemed ones like Jimmy Rockford.

As I have written here before, I spend a summer watching Rockford on hulu as I did some other grief filled work. He's a great companion if you need someone to commiserate... thank you, Jimmy and Mr. Garner.

Wishing his wife and daughters peace as they learn to live in a world without him.  May their memories bring them solace -- and their eyes brighten at the reruns as I know mine will.

comfort

There are comfort food and clothes and bedding ...
and then there are comfort music and movies.


I have been indulging in just about all of it.

One surprisingly comforting habit is watching soap operas.

I can't really explain it except to say that growing up there wasn't a time that our family life didn't include my mom's "stories" and all of the families contained within those stories.  They had trouble, plenty of trouble often of their own making.  We watched in horror as they walked into the same old tired traps, rejoiced at the moments of happiness, and shook our heads at their madness.  And, I don't know if we were glad it was them and not us, or if we quietly understood that we all have troubles.  But watching them now, even though they are not the same ones my mom watched (they were cancelled! the horror!), there is some connection to that innocent past -- where terrible things only happened on tv to people who were only characters.  And for the most part, those characters survived the horrible troubles ... and even when they were dead, they were never really dead. Characters could come back, sometimes in the body of a changed actor, or as ghosts who could have real interactions with the other characters.

The magic of television does not exist in this world outside the television, but it does offer a space where I can at least remember that uneasy peace.

Sometimes there is not enough comfort, like bubble wrap, to contain the potential for pain.  That is what it feels like right now ... but I am stocking up on mac & cheese makings and emergency chocolate and tv shows I can binge watch while I can't sleep. 

Wish me luck...

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The Daily Affirmations had this to say about comfort (months ago, really, but I just got around to reading it)...I am not sure that demanding of others is really my issue, but I am sure Jennifer has a point.

 I define comfort 

as self-acceptance 

when we finally learn 

that self-care begins 

and ends with ourselves, 

we no longer demand 

sustenance and happiness 

from others. 

~ Jennifer Louden

Comfort Pics - CA beaches

Fruitvale Station

I relished the fact that Oscar's story would be told ... and enjoyed reading about its reception at Sundance.  I have read many pieces about the director, the story, its import, etc... but this review made me feel proud. I have nothing to do with the film except that this is where I am from ... this is the place I claim ... Oakland, in all its glory.

So movie summer will continue, if only in its last gasps before I begin my exams.  Luckily, I won't have to go through the rollercoaster of emotions on this one alone.  I am headed to Oakland tomorrow for the week... and my friends and I already had a plan to see the movie on Wednesday night. 

It took me a while to get to this other story on NPR because the headline made me angry ... fortunately, the piece is really about how this movie feels *emotionally* to people in Oakland ... people of color, not the white folks who are boarding up their windows.

I will be wearing my hoodie to this movie...

Movie Summer

Although I am also working and preparing for exams and revising my proposal, I am pledged to make this the summer of the movies.

In short, I want to see movies -- in the theater -- this summer.  During the school year, I want to see movies, but if I get to one every three months, then it is a miracle.  Summer offers the further advantage that I *need* air conditioning -- and movie theaters provide cool spaces.

Now, if only the movies that I would like to see were showing ...

So far, I have seen these movies in the theater:

Star Trek -- great ... just what the die hard Trekkie wants to see... movie critics may feel otherwise, but that is their problem.

After Earth -- it was available during the time I had to see a movie with a friend ... so there you have it. I knew nothing about the movie til I got there -- and saw a million and one apocalypse movie trailers.  I have two words for the film makers obsessed with end of the world themes: get involved.  I mean, seriously, if you are that worried, perhaps spending millions on movies is not the best way to build consciousness about the issue.  This particular movie was interesting because of the Scientology overtones ... makes me want to rent The Master from redbox ... but it doesn't come with air conditioning. [**um... in between drafting this and publishing it, I rented *for free* The Master -- and it was terrible and unenlightening; the only bright spot ... it was free.]

Identity Thief -- caught it at the cheap theater just before it was to be released at redbox, so I am justifying the extra expense on the air conditioning. It was darker than I expected. I still enjoyed it, but I might have *loved* it if I hadn't gone to the theater expecting a *light* and funny experience.

Speaking of Melissa McCarthy, I am hoping to catch the next one with Sandra Bullock -- and hoping it will be more funny and less dark.

Olympus Has Fallen -- had so very many possibilities, and then it started to just blow up things and move the plot in order to fire on more things ... what a waste of talent.

The Stories We Tell -- though this film will also require me to feel like I have some emotional strength reserves ... meaning it might not be this summer.  I guess the universe was listening because the movie only lasted in the theater here for one week.  But I caught it up in Santa Fe. AMAZING... is all I can say, run out and see it. I have felt this strongly about a recommendation since Sugarman.

Upcoming at our local, independent cinema:
Something in the Air
Blancanieves
Berberian Sound Studio

I am serious about this summer of movies thing.

Here are some others that I am considering seeing; time, price and air conditioning dependent:

All You Need Is Love because every summer deserves a love story.

Frances Ha -- the reviews have intrigued me ... but I am not sure if this movie will be the *summer light* that I sometimes need ... however the a/c might be enough to entice me in.

Someday I will get around to telling you all about the movies on Netflix and from Redbox...