sleepy realizations

Sometimes all we can do is to appreciate what is.

That may include our imperfection or that of another.

Does that sound funny? Not ha ha, but odd... it does to me.

As I was sitting in the airport after Christmas, I had these interesting epiphanal (I made that word up - go with it) thoughts. I should have pulled out my notebook and written them down.  Instead all I have left is that first sentence, and the other one is what I think I was trying to say ... who knows?!

I was trying to figure out if I should "do" something about my little sister -- and our apparent inability to get along anymore.  

I came up with some good, practical "solutions" before I realized that 1) it was not my job to fix it, and 2) anything I did, said, wrote (etc.) would not work.  It would be like trying to lose weight by eating cherry pie ... yeah, I do that, too.  But this time, I put the card in my bag, but I didn't write it.  [True confession -- I am still carrying it around, but I am more and more convinced I won't send it.]

What therapy (only four more sessions before they kick me to the curb) has taught me so far is that boundaries are good... but they should be defensible if you set them.  I have also realized that I am doing a pretty good job of taking care of myself -- and I will do better as I learn to not indulge in self-judgment -- slowly and surely.

Most of all, I am confirming I that I am the person I believe myself to be ... and that is a pretty great outcome from therapy.

Just for fun...here is a song that makes me want to cry and sing super loud at the same time: