Patterns ...

My grief therapist has asked me to think about the patterns in my life -- to look at them with critical yet compassionate eyes... I am more than a little afraid to open those boxes, but I guess I don't really have a choice.

As I gear up for that intense work, and try to get through my papers (or hide from them, as the case may be...), I found these DailyOm missives to help me along.

Thought I would share with anyone that is not subscribed to DailyOm (I highly recommend it, by the way).  More to come in the next few days ... gotta keep the blog updated, it's part of my 1000 word challenge.

July 29, 2014
Repeating Patterns of Meaning
Numbers
by Madisyn Taylor


Seeing number patterns repeating in your life is a signal to take pause and pay attention to it's meaning.

Glancing at the clock may cause us to look again sometimes, especially when we notice that we’ve caught it at the same time over and over again. Maybe we see the same number pattern echoed everywhere we look—whether on license plates or appliances—over a period of hours or even days. When we accept that there are no coincidences, we know there is a message in the numbers for us, and we know to pay attention to the repeating patterns and search for their true meaning.

Numerology has its basis in the ancient world and tells us that each number carries its own vibration and symbolic significance. It can mark the stages of our soul’s evolution as we move from one frequency to the next. Repeating number patterns in our lives may call us to focus on certain aspects of our lives and rise to approach them from the best within us. Once we’ve recognized that there is something we must look more deeply into, we also must trust that we will be guided to the people and places that hold the right answers for us.

Numbers, as symbols, can carry personal meanings as well. We may have our own lucky number that has served us well throughout our lives and another that reminds us of certain events of significance. If these are the numbers that are appearing, it may be the right time to delve into the past for clues about how to handle a present situation. Many people are seeing 11:11 right now, which can be interpreted as an energetic gateway that has opened for you and is ready to manifest your thoughts into reality. Whatever explanations you receive about the numbers that are appearing everywhere you look, the important thing is to trust your own guidance as to what they are telling you. Each culture attaches different meaning to the numbers, so a Chinese interpretation may be different than an interpretation from Kabalah. It is up to us to use our intuition to see which is the best fit for us. If someone has an explanation that doesn’t feel right, then this is not the answer for you but may be just a clue to keep you moving on the path. By paying attention to the numbers around us, we use them as tools to improve our connection to the universe and our awareness of our choices in life.

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NRU, California Sights...

This is a lovely piece on the Channel Islands, which I will always consider off the coast of Oxnard.  Everyone says Ventura County as if it is so well-known to Oxnard's relative unknown.  We all actually know that it is all about who thinks what is sexy.  Not sexy sexy, but you know what I mean.

I love downtown Los Angeles, and this LA Times contributor used Raymond Chandler's birthday as an awesome excuse to explore downtown's nooks and crannies.  My nephew and I are planning adventures we can take from the Metro, so this piece hit the spot.

This is not the typical CA Sights entry ... instead of a tour of sights, it is a tour for the stomach: food crawl.  Not the best article, but an interesting idea about how to learn about the restaurants in our area.  Looks like these tours exist in other cities as well.  I like the idea of mixing food love with networking.

Another atypical CA sight:  a homeless man participating in and finishing a marathon.  This might be one of those only in San Francisco things.  This might belong in the silver lining NRU, but I thought it was so California, I would put it here.  I have both run in and volunteered at the SF Marathon, so I was tickled.  As usual, SF Gate offers lukewarm writing, but the story here is good enough to carry it.  I do wonder, though, if SF Gate would have known about it at all is ESPN hadn't done a story about it... oh, the state of our local newspapers is so depressing.

This is another crossover silver linings/CA sight: the church of helping others.  In this case, it is the specific action called Laundry Love where folks descend on a laundromat to offer free love and clean clothes to any who need it.  I was interested to hear that this practice has origins in Ventura, particularly given the kerfuffle of late over offering homeless folks services within a neighborhood.  I am not even going to link to that article again as it makes my heart hurt every time.

This is a review of a book about a California sight that is no more, but of interest in any case, particularly because it demonstrates, at the author of the review points out, both our thirst for new and modern and how quickly we tire of the "new." Holy run-on sentence! This follow-up piece talks about more nostalgia for Southern California amusement park sights.  I visited the Santa Monica Pier recently and discovered why I had never ventured there before.  I like these sights in the historical documents a little more than I enjoy them in the present.

After our camping adventure, my nephew told me he wanted to start exploring Los Angeles… all the places you can get to on public transportation. To be clear, he was only thinking about the metro, but I added in the idea of buses … and our feet.  We have yet to get started on these adventures, but this article made meitch for a free day to do this! I guess afterwards we will have to make our own app... how does one do that? Got to go to Causathon??
 

I want this pastrami sandwich now.  In a previous life, and perhaps just as a teenager, I came to love pastrami.  I am not a pastrami snob, though, I have been known to enjoy turkey pastrami as well as the kind that is discussed here.  It was my love of the pastrami that led me to believe that I could have been misplaced from the East Coast.  Alas, I think I was always just a West Coast pastrami fan.  I am adding this deli to my LA adventurelist.  I will let you know.

The stretch of highway that links Oxnard to the Los Angeles County part of Malibu has always been a part of my life.  I have often said that I know every turn, as I imagine my parents do.  It is where my mom grew up.  I know her family's connection to the place.  It turns out this road is part of me from both sides.  I learned recently from a maternal uncle that one of my paternal grandfather's jobs in California was to manage access to what is now called the Pacific Coast Highway.  Apparently, the road used to be private, owned by the family that owned a large ranch near the coast.  I am not sure when and how this article if its into that timeline except to say that I believe my grandpa arrived in California sometime in the 1920s … maybe mid, maybe early.  In any case, this is an interesting little piece of California history – and a part of our family history, too. 

Orange Sherbet Sunset

I spent all day at the SB trying to wring words out for this paper.  When I finally emerged from the shop ... it was after 8:00p and I had not had dinner.  I decided to treat myself to dessert instead.  I trudged across the parking lot to a little Armenian bakery.  With my treats in a pretty little box, I walked back towards my car.

This is what I saw ...

I decided to take a minute and savor the beautiful sunset.

These are the moments that bring a little sanity to my life right now.

Birthday wishes

With every 

rising of the sun, 

think of your life 

as just begun...
- unknown

 Happy Birthday to my sister and sister-in-law... may this new year of your lives bring you health and happiness and adventure...

retirement work... aka pipe dreams

Some people dream of retiring to a cute cottage along the shore where they can rise in the morning, walk the beach, look for sea glass and then return to the cottage for a nap.

I have to admit that these days that seems like a really nice way to spend your days.

However, my dreams run to different ways to occupy my time.

For a long time, I have dreamed of having a storefront with nothing but bathrooms and showers.  Public bathrooms ... no need to buy anything, just use the bathroom!  Drop in a tip, if you feel the need.  Offer to sweep up, if you have time.

Honestly, how many times have you been wandering around somewhere and just needed to use the bathroom only to walk by store after store with notes stating from friendly to hostile: restrooms for patrons only!

There is nothing wrong with that, I guess.  But, why would any one want to patronize a store that is so passive aggressive and stingy?

I just want there to be a place where folks can use the bathroom, clean up, take a load off for a few.  I conceive of it as a real restroom... like the kind they still have at the Paramount in Oakland ... though mine would not have to be fancy.  Just a place with a couch and a room with a cot, for those that need a nap, and a washer and a dryer.

There are folks that need a place to do their laundry ... to take a rest, and a shower.  The best thing about this idea is that it would provide the space for everyone.

Theoretically, you could charge a nominal fee, but as the idea germinates, I love the idea of just asking for donations ... like the Met.  Maybe there could be a suggested donation price based on the electricity, water and rent -- folks could decide, do they need a $3 coffee and a sb in order to go to the bathroom, or could they use our facilities and leave 3 bucks instead?

We would have some log in and donate to paypal -- oh, there would need to be internet, too, for those folks that just want to check in on something real quick, not necessarily to watch movies.

In my best imagination, you could have volunteers donate the towels, washing detergent and paraphernalia, clothes for a free rack, books for a free bookshelf, and time to clean up as needed.  I would love to "employ" homeless folks to clean up for the chance to use it all for free.

Apparently, someone else has been dreaming this dream, too.

Anyway, this is what I dream of.... and the more of us that do it around the country, the less of us that would be worrying about where the next bathroom is...

Poetry Thursday, RUMI!

 

Sunflower emerging from the kale...

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the door sill
where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

~Rumi

**my photos of Julie's garden ... with many thanks to the Mira Vista gardening crew for keeping all those bugs and birds so happy!

NRU silver and gold

I kinda wish I could have been at this meeting. Coincidentally, I was wandering around Los Angeles on this day.  I hope that this story gets significant media coverage -- Homeboy (& Homegirl) Industries need as much attention and support as possible.

I am sorry that it has taken the brutal deaths of several men on death row for the public to begin to see the futility of the death penalty.  However, I will take it as a win if it works to eradicate vengeance from our so-called justice system.  By the way, I know this guy didn't mean what I just said ... but I think he is correct in suggesting that we need to either go all the way to brutally killing people or give up the death penalty. I am not convinced, even in our current gun-promoting craziness, that we will support the firing squad.
  

I guess I have to say that is it very sad when a kind gesture is met with fear.  Is it a sign of our times because the media hypes every little thing in an attempt to fill airtime or because our world is that scary?  I am not convinced we are living in a truly scarier world.  Though when I read the comments on newspaper articles, I can imagine that scary world.  I wondered as I drove around listening to the news if the internet and are new relationship with anonymity is what gives the rebels in the Ukraine or the military in Israel the idea that shooting at innocents is okay as long as it is done remotely.

I guess I should have made another color for those things that are both awful and yet there is some silver glint to its lining.  This op-ed, in my opinion, has this quality ... and I think it was the quality the author was trying to express.  We should be proud that we have far enough in our un-learning prejudice to elect a not white president.  But we should continue to hold people responsible for their racist actions, words and calls to action.  Because of how far we've come, the racist/prejudice people have learned how to couch their feelings into words/campaigns that need to be scrutinized carefully.  But we are capable of doing just that ... instead of merely repeating the ugly things they say.

One of the joys of reading newspapers online is that you get to see headlines from sections into which you might not otherwise venture.  This is a gold nugget from the sports section I would have totally missed.  I want to be in this guy's social circle ... and I would learn to talk about football (not derisively that is) for the privilege.  Just love this guy!

This is another pure gold story about how eating healthy andwell are coming to "fast food" – not sure how fast this is since they all sound like sit down restaurants.  These are chain restaurants I can whole-heartedly get behind!  Also there is a quick shout out to my hometown and a family-owned farm providing greens to one of these chains. 

I am not sure how to categorize this op-ed on the border "crisis" - it twists and turns around ideas, some silver linings and others just the truth.  I just wish we could all figure out how to find charity in our hearts ... I think if we could just take stock of what we had, what we don't need and what we can easily share, then our notions of abundance would blossom.

It would appear that there is good that can come from technology – and the geeks that are willing to donate their time.  This is a lovely article about the tech community in LA, including those still trying to break into the industry, giving to nonprofits that would otherwise not have the funds or the geek power to create apps.  I am confused about the judging and winning aspect of the Causathon, but the results sound really good to me.

diagnoses, research, hope part 3.2

The next morning, I rose early to prepare to fill out the forms we needed for the meeting.  Some of it was very straight-forward:  medical history, doctors, medicine, conditions, sign releases, etc.  But the seemingly innocuous describe your child was there with its impossibly small lines and check boxes that left no room for gray area.  I filled out what I could and then "interviewed" C. so that I wasn't just putting in my ideas.  I modeled the kind of information and how to give it, with examples to illustrate the issues.  She started to remember really good examples of instances that demonstrated some of the adjectives that otherwise would have been meaningless or open to interpretation, such as "innocent." 

I had to physically take a break to give myself some emotional space.  I was afraid I would lose my ability to write up a reasonably objective description.  It had to be something the psychologist could interpret as observation not emotion.  If nothing else, the skills I have gained in graduate school around observation and writing up those notes are good for something.  I typed up the results of my interview, but then I decided we should turn it in handwritten. 

So, as I wrote it out over two pages of college ruled paper, C. and Q. got dressed.  We made it to the place about ten minutes late … drama and concern and lack of sleep and eating made us a little out of sorts.  At the last minutes, I asked Q. to bring a stuffed friend or other toy and her favorite clay sculpture.  I wanted her to feel comfortable, and usually holding one of her favorite toy/friends works well for that.  But I also wanted her to share the work she does at home … away from school with really no influence other than what she has in her mind.  I think it illustrates both the view from the world she lives in and some of the abilities she has that her verbal skills do not.

They saw us immediately, and the intake person attempted to interview Q.  It was interesting to see what she would/could answer.  The intake person wrote furious notes.  Pretty quickly, the psychologist joined us, asking questions and taking notes.  The psychologist took Q. in another room for testing and we continued with the intake person who had a few more questions.  We needed to fill in the blanks of all the things Q. could not or chose not to answer.  It was again heartbreaking to list her abilities in this way.  Her deficits are so clear, though their origins are not so easy to distinguish. 

They have until November to let us know if she is eligible for services. But, due to her age, the psychologist administered the adult intelligence test.  I am guessing that means it was pencil and paper.  Thus she will qualify for intellectually disabled because she cannot perform on paper above a first grade level.  I corned the psychologist for a bit before we left to give her more of my observations and interpretations.  Though the intake person had finished her part of the interview, she took out her notes and began to scribble more as I talked to the psychologist.  There were more follow up questions and knowing looks between them.

I felt elated and confident after we left … hopeful, really.  Not because they now think that she is intellectually disabled, but because we have our foot back in the door.  There is no doubt way more work to do … and battle with the school district about the IEP and the services before school starts in two weeks.  But we are on the road to getting her the help she needs.  We have a long haul ahead of us.

But the absolute best part, in reflection after these few days, is that I learned so much more about Q.'s conditon.  I will try to write more about it later.  Suffice to say that really uncovering the outside behavioral issues opens a box to much deeper understandings. 

Did I mention that two beautiful butterflies captivated us as we entered the center?  I sure hope that my brother and sister were there because they believe we are doing the right thing.  We could use a little spiritual support right about now.

diagnoses, research, hope part 3.1

The afternoon and evening before our appointment with the Regional Center my sister-in-law, C., and I reviewed every piece of paper she had with regard to Q. and education.  It was not just a pile of paper, though, it was a mountain of struggles.  I had to be strong throughout because it was making C. cry to see how much trouble they have had with the school district throughout. 

I needed to go through each IEP from the time she was in early intervention with the Regional Center because I wanted to pinpoint when she was switched to the Special Education Day Class.  I needed to see when and how this so-called Specific Learning Disability was attached to my niece.  I wanted to know if there was an actual evaluation with diagnostic tests that could shed some light on the disability.  More than that, though, I wanted to see what services she received that were meant to meet that disability within the special day class.

By the middle, I was almost unable to continue reading.  I was so angry.  Many years, starting early on … the teachers barely bothered to change the date on the papers they were submitting.  Not only was she not progressing beyond the point which they had switched her to special ed, they were not trying to help her learn.  The goals barely changed from year to year.  The teachers switched whether she had met said goals from yes, no, maybe – I guess because that was supposed to indicate that they had observed or noticed something?? 

If you just took one piece of information and followed it from year to year, you could see that no one was paying attention at all.  For example, in kindergarten she was developing the ability to tie shoes.  In grade 2, she could tie them, though she was receiving occupational therapy to learn how to tie her shoes.  Oh, and she was wearing slip-ons because tying shoes was difficult for her.  This goes on and on throughout elementary school.  Are we supposed to believe that she learned and unlearned how to tie her shoes every year?

It was heartbreaking, frustrating and motivating all at the same time. While I tried to keep my own emotions in check, I also tried to think through how to answer the questions on the intake form for the re-evaluation.  After reading what teachers over the course of eleven years did not know about my niece, I needed to write something truly helpful for the re-evaluation team.  If we were going to make a case for autism, then we were going to have to show what you cannot see in a simple IQ test, particularly if it is a paper and pen test. 

I explained to C. that we needed to be brutally honest about mija's capabilities and deficits.  As a parent, I guess it is hard to be that truthful. When someone asks you how your daughter is doing, you want to say all the things she can do.  You want to paint the rosy picture.  But what we needed were the black clouds and the gray edges that tinged all of those rosy scenarios.  I showed her through the IEPs how her words had been twisted over and over to make it seem like she, not the professionals, were asking for specific services to stop. 

We took a long walk after reading everything and C. felt devastated and angry at the world. I can't say that I blame her – it is the guilt that hurts her the most.  In a perfect world, she could have relied on the professionals to have her daughter's best interests in the forefront as they made educational decisions.  Outside of that perfect world, parents have to advocate – and how do they acquire the professional information in order to do that against a room full of so-called educational professionals?  Yes, they give you a handbook every day, in two languages, that lists your rights and your child's rights.  But it does not tell you how to get the knowledge you need to understand what is happening in the IEP meeting.  

.... this is super long, will finish tomorrow...

Through the Windshield

I spent an awful lot of hours in the car in the last fifteen days ... what with 7 hours up to Oakland and then another 7 down and we won't count the hours it took just to go 60 mile from my home to my sister-in-law's house.

Okay, I wasn't stopped for this...

In an attempt to make the best of being in traffic, I snapped some pics of the beauty that surrounded me while waiting *not always so patiently* near someone's bumper.

[Not sure if you can see it, but it looked like a little black hat sitting on top of that big white cloud]

You can tell from these pics that in many cases I was stopped ...

[I think that is Catalina in the distance, though I guess it could also be one of the other Channel Islands.  I thought since I was so close to Los Angeles at this point that it must be Catalina.]

 The Getty Villa on its precarious perch -- and guy chilling and looking out at the ocean. 

[This is to show that there is no one headed south bound ... just us north bound PCH drivers looking at the ocean.  I think I tried to capture the sail boat in the distance.]

I am sorry that I didn't get one of the leafless tree filled with cormorants and their nests! You will just have to imagine that one ... I was tickled by them and would have truly enjoyed being stopped next to them.

Quote Thursday

Mom's garden, cactus flower

  
All sorrows can be borne 

if you put them into a story 

or tell a story about them. 

 ~ Isak Dinesen

From the nearly dead stump, a bud...

Some days, when I am not so spent from the school writing, I think, these trials may someday become a book -- a story, if you will.

The only thing I can't figure out is if it is a self-help book or a novel. It is some kind of story.

Today's adventure in evaluation is a story waiting to happen ... part 3 coming up soon.

NRU mish mash

Sorry to hear that our knee jerk reactions continue to foil students as they try to stretch themselves into adulthood.  I would certainly love to see this movie and any others produced by this group.

This was a lovely little bit on what to say to your child about death. As I continue to field questions from my nephew -- usually not so directed towards the loss of his mother -- I often wonder how truthful I need to be to get the point across.  So far, I have always come down on the side of truthful and direct ... but there are some questions I do not know how to or how I will answer.

This story about a study of children who die prematurely after losing a parent made my heart drop.  My concern for my parents after losing my brother and sister is only greater for my nieces and nephews.  This piece is high on statistics and light on story -- that is it is a story about a study about numbers.  Even though this is true, it is still scary.

Turns out being a vegetarian, vegan or just switching to anything but beef is good for the environment.  In general, I think it is best to do much less of everything we do.  We might plant more ... but everything else we do seems to get us deeper in the environmental hole. 

In my opinion, full contact football should be banned from middle schools and high schools, so these new rules do not go nearly far enough for me.  One bad practice can end a young player's life -- we have seen this one too many times.  However, the long-term damage done by continued trauma to the head should certainly not start while children are under 18 years old. 

I share the frustration and anguish that this op-ed expresses -- the only saving grace to this dark cloud is that by the time any of this can actually be put in motion is after millions of Americans who have never had the opportunity can experience a primary care physician and preventative care rather than emergency room band-aids.  I want to see those Americans who have derided Obamacare to stand up and demand their right to health care ... I believe it will happen.  I have to believe.

Side Bar, Oakland

I love Oakland... and I love bartenders that can make an awesome drink.  Somehow, I didn't know about Side Bar.

This happened at the bar ...
Jared (the bartender) heard me talking about how I don't like bourbon but these two drinks looked good. As I was talking shit, he calmly made one of those drinks and pushed it towards me.  Just try it... mean time, I had not only been talking shit but got the name of the drink wrong, I called it Caged Heart (not Caged Heat).

Delicious!

I loved it.  It was hot, particularly at the end.  And so it was the perfect flavor and a sipping cocktail.

Gorgeous and tasty.

Loved it.

Jared, then, also intuited what drink to make for my friend, C.

Thyme Fizz, also delicious.  They were very different drinks, and mine fit me perfectly and the other was perfect for C.

The good drinks and good food just kept coming from Jared. 

Somehow we got to telling stories.

Then C. and I decided to talk about the folks at the bar.  There was this "couple" that we couldn't figure out.  He: older, maybe fifties, sort of non-descript hair, clothes, no wedding ring.  She:  young, maybe mid twenties, red hair, red nail polish, really red lipstick, I can't remember what she was wearing, but I noted that she had no jewelry on. 

C. asked Jared if he knew what the deal was… C. and I were between dad/daughter and date.  Jared thought date, not first date, but working through exactly what the relationship was/would be. 

The threesome on the corner of the bar left just after we had a discussion about one of them not caring for leftovers.  He was adamant.

C. and I speculated about some others around the bar … we were at least three drinks in, each.

Then a young man sat next to C. and was using his iPad to look for tires for his bike.  C. bonded with him over this and he was heartily entertained by our running commentary with Jared.

I don't think we exactly won him over, but he was definitely amused.

Sitting at the bar is so entertaining. I am not sure why I don't do it more often.

And the drinks were really good, too… as was the cornbread/pound cake! 

RIP James Garner...

I love me some Rockford Files... and just about anything else that starred James Garner.
 [Links included for the uninitiated.]



I was already full of memories and some tears when I heard on the radio as I drove home that James Garner had passed away.  I was imagining my sister and brother welcoming Mr. Garner to the other side.  She is the biggest Garner fan I know ... her favorites were not mine, but there was plenty to agree on anyway.

May he rest in peace... and thanks for the many memorable characters - especially the terminally flawed yet redeemed ones like Jimmy Rockford.

As I have written here before, I spend a summer watching Rockford on hulu as I did some other grief filled work. He's a great companion if you need someone to commiserate... thank you, Jimmy and Mr. Garner.

Wishing his wife and daughters peace as they learn to live in a world without him.  May their memories bring them solace -- and their eyes brighten at the reruns as I know mine will.

Bippity boppity boo...

 Back from the road...

Scenes from the garden before M. started picking all the pumpkins.  Cinderella would have had her pick for a carriage ... now we will have soup. 

diagnoses, research, hope, part 2

After several phones calls that turned into scavenger hunts for documentation, my sister-in-law learned what it means to be made to jump through hoops.

First they wanted a copy of this, and then they wanted a copy of that ... and in between the voice on the other phone demanded, why do you want your daughter re-evaluated. 

And she made up reasons to not be helpful: "we closed this case...years ago."

And, "I can't send you a copy of the file." And, "You'll have to call someone else for that."

And, finally, "No, we won't re-evaluate your daughter; we closed the file."

One of the scavenger hunt runs involved getting the school psychologist to send in the latest evaluation.  Let me highlight three parts for you, 1) "specific learning disability" noted as the issue, though no specific learning disability (sld) is named, no treatments for said sld described, and no long-term goal noted.  These two go together for emphasis: 2) reading grade level 1.7 [you read that correctly, she's in the 11th grade at the time of this evaluation, and reading at grade level 1 and seven months] and 3) making adequate progress.

These three facts do not make sense together.

The only up side to all of this scavenging for information is that my sister-in-law began to really question all she is hearing.  She is starting to feel like being nice and agreeable might not have translated into getting the best education for her daughter. 

My sister-in-law started building up for the fight we had in front of us.

We made a game plan.

1) Get the pediatrician to send a letter to the regional center and to start paper work through the HMO to get our own evaluation done.  And a letter to the school requesting an IEP meeting ASAP, maybe as soon as before school starts.
2) Research on what is needed for an evaluation and what might the regional center accept from the outside.
3) Gather all of the IEP reports over the 12 years Q. has already been in school.
4) Activate networks and identify other networks that can get us in touch with the appropriate lawyers/advocates, etc.

Battle ready, emotionally and physically... fears and inadequacies pushed aside to do what is best for Q.

Then came the call... we can re-evaluate Q., next week.

It was probably good they said no first.  It gave my sister-in-law the time and space to prepare for battle and understand what it might take to get the help Q. needs.  It also allowed her to make some moves that demonstrate the power of the parent and the registered letter. 

This is good because the re-evaluation is just step one.  We still have to stay on top of Q. getting exactly what she needs to be productive and successful. 

And so the saga continues...

Poetry Thursday

Julie's retreat, threshold

Let yourself

be silently drawn

by the strange pull

of what

you really love

-Rumi

Sunflower emerging from kale, Julie's house, July 2014

Le quatorze juillet

Good friends and lively strangers
Red, white and blue for a different country
Bastille Day
Music
Lights
San Francisco *alleys*
Prix Fixe
Excellent cocktails, champagne, wine...
Dancing, old American music, newish French disco music
Obnoxious fog/steam machine
Beer spilled on toes
Dancing til we nearly dropped

All in all a lovely evening!

Gone fishin' again

I was in San Francisco to celebrate Bastille Day and this is the picture I took.

Don't try to understand the motivation or rationale - it is only likely to cause a headache. 

NRU mish mashy

Several friends and I have been debating the idea of date/nondate for sometime.  I don't know why I thought we were the only ones... but naively, I guessed that it was just these friends who were having this issue.  For my friends, date or nondate frequently equaled good date or bad date.  Apparently there is much more to it for many others.  On some level, I am relieved to know that it is more pervasive, but I am also disheartened.  The issues presented here, though facetious, demonstrate a breakdown of that mythical dating thing.  But that we have destroyed dates is just too much.  I think it is most definitely an age issue, I am of an age to understand that a date is a date.

I think this is more disturbing than the headline (4Theories On Why The Ocean's Floating Plastic Is Disappearing) would have us believe.  If theory number 4 is right, so far it seems to be the front-runner though unproven – hence THEORY, those of us trying to make healthy choices by eating fish are in big trouble.  Like the GMO research, it makes me feel like we are really killing ourselves with our technology … not in the way most people in science fiction have predicted. 

On some level, this little article is meant as comedy.  However, it is also a recording of our society using mental illness as entertainment … and when it crosses the line, and we suffer the consequences, we are left feeling unsafe.

SFGate/Chronicle rarely has stories well enough written for me to share, but this story, despite its clunkiness, begged to be shared.  We never know the chain reaction of events we set off with our choices.  It is probably best to always think it is for the best as it was in this case.

Happy Bastille Day ...