Lemons/Lemonade and Sour Grapes

I love stories that show folks making lemonade out of lemons.

Perhaps I have such an affinity for them because I feel largely incapable of doing that.

I won't claim to be looking at this situation and thinking *clearly* or *objectively* about it.

All I see is devastation.  I can't imagine tomorrow or the next day.  It all feels the same -- I want to throw up.  I want to crawl in a closet and never come out. 

I wish it made me want to be healthier, or nicer, or more optimistic.

I wish I could say I am thinking about making each moment count, living like each day were your last.

Nope.

I am just trying to make it through the hours.

I am praying that when it's time to sleep I will be able to close my eyes and rest.

So far, it is not happening much.

Life looks grim even when the sun is shining.

Perhaps there is a better day coming, but not if I have to wish it into being.