making enemies

Immediately following watching the second tower be hit by an airplane, I was clear that it was a terrorist attack.  Before the towers fell, and before anyone knew the ins and outs of the planning or execution of the attack, I said something that did not make me any friends.

I said, we need to learn to treat people better.

Not that I would change my mind about that ... just I might not have said that in front of my colleagues.

I strongly believe that we reap what we sow ... as individuals, groups (hear me, Boy Scouts), corporations, institutions, and countries.

We reap what we sow.

And there are plenty of us that are making more enemies than friends.

It is a horrible (and unforgivable) act to take your hurt feelings (however based on real recriminations) and take someone else's life. 

It simply is not our place to make those kinds of judgments.  We have no right, even in court, in my opinion, to cast a vote that would take someone else's life.  That is how I feel... it is the creed I live by.  It won't get me on any juries, I know.  But it is how I feel.

So, when I heard that it was believed that a disgruntled former police officer from LAPD was behind the murders of the couple in Irvine, I wondered... [do not doubt, and go back and look, I had already been mourning those two people -- I certainly do not condone the taking of their lives or those of the two law enforcement.]

And, yes, I read the much maligned manifesto.

For LAPD this is certainly a case of reaping what they sowed ... sadly, it didn't have to be this way.

For years and years, through scandal after scandal, the poor judgment exercised by rank and file and administration alike in the LAPD has been displayed for all to see.  But no amount of shame or court order has proven able to sow integrity. [That is not to say that there might be individuals within this organization with integrity ... we might never know, however, due to their thin blue line.]

I am not sure who I would call if my life were in danger in Los Angeles.  I would have to think twice before I just called the police.  I might call the firefighters ... I might try to handle it on my own.  It wouldn't be the first time I talked my way out of a tight spot.  I might lose ... but I am not sure I could entrust my life to the LAPD.  Or the police department in the city where I grew up ... though not as notorious as the LAPD, they have failed me on the few occasions I have given them the opportunity to protect and serve.

From this you can see that I am not naturally inclined to love the police, to feel that they are my protectors, or to have much sympathy for them when others may judge them harshly.

Back to the manifesto ... there is, indeed, plenty in the screed that demonstrates some imbalance.  I am not here to judge that -- where it came from, how it grew or was fomented by actions of others, or if medication might have helped.  That is for someone else.

However, the story told within that document rings true enough to me to believe that there were some toxic seeds sown between the LAPD and that former officer.  [I will continue not to name those who take the lives of others here -- his name is on the lips of plenty of others. And it is not clear that he did not make this fatal choice because all the others who were recently hailed in the press after exercising the poor decision making that led them to open fire indistinctly on innocents.]

What is clear to me is that this situation is not as black and white as the LAPD would like the world to believe.  I hadn't put much thought to it ... I am too busy, really, to even be writing this ... but I wasn't surprised to see that I wasn't the only one thinking about seeds and enemies.

I wasn't going to write about this ... even though I was hording some articles ... I didn't want to add fire to the flame.

Then I came home on Tuesday afternoon to the news that the suspect was in a stand off with law enforcement.  Though I don't have cable, I know how to find the pertinent feed on the internet.  I am ashamed to say I was riveted for the next few hours.  As I went about typing and organizing, I listened to the incessant reporting.

When the image of the burning home sunk in ... it took a while, as I tried to pretend that I didn't really care ... I heard ringing in my ears the words of the LAPD spokesperson who claimed he just wanted the suspect to give himself up.  In my wildest dreams, I could not imagine the LAPD allowing the suspect to give up... to come out of this alive, to tell his story on a platform that the LAPD could not control.  [The chief claims he is going to reopen the case -- but I will not hold my breath on that one.]

As the tears rushed down my cheeks, I prayed ... not something I am wont to do ... that there could be a peaceful resolution ... that law enforcement had not simply exacted revenge by setting the house on fire -- in the middle of the forest we try so hard to protect from fire, I might add.  Law enforcement needs to find a way to bring more protection with peace, to honor the notion of serve, and to banish revenge from their modus operandi. 

It was clear these prayers were in vain ... so I sent my thoughts and hopes for peace to that tormented man.  May he rest in peace.  May he find the souls of the lives he took and make whatever recompense is possible.  May we find a way to live together more peacefully.