Then... and now

Some twenty odd years ago, I bought a card with this quote on it.  Over the years, it has traveled with me from state to state, situation to situation, in a box with other cards.

I wondered over the years, what did I think I would do with this card?

I loved (and needed) the sentiment. It immediately called to me, and I bought it without thinking.

But, I thought it was such an intimate sentiment that I could never give it to someone.  Wouldn't it be intrusive and presumptuous of me to gift this card?

As I was sifting through my box of cards recently, in search of a card to send to someone (I can't even remember who), I stopped at this card for about the millionth time.

I read the quote one more time and felt that same calling.  And, finally, it dawned on me.  I'm slow when it comes to these things sometimes.

This card is for me.  I bought it for myself ... just me, no one else.

Then I carried it around with me for at least four weeks, to California and back, unable to find the courage or strength or time, who knows, to write myself a love letter.

In fact, I haven't written myself a love letter since before my brother died even though I have so desperately needed some affirmations.  That's just the way it goes sometimes.

In any case, one day last week, while sitting in SB and trying to be "productive," I pulled out the card and knew just what I needed to write to myself and how this card has been speaking to my soul for so long.

I looked up Dr. Posin (her name was thankfully on the back of the card) and found a treasure of writings that I believe I will spend a lot of time with -- nourishing and encouraging myself as I write this dissertation [see I am already calling it a diss, not just a proposal -- this will happen; it's real].

I share her love and wisdom with you, internet, just in case, like me, sometimes you need someone to give you permission or to remind you of the sacredness of your being ... that you do not have a soul, you are a soul.

Blessed be, loved ones!