touch

You can forget how important human touch is to life.

I have been feeling so alone -- though not necessarily lonely in some traditional form -- just like a fish out of water. New place, with just budding new friendships, never good at leaning on people for support -- but with real life situations to deal with -- you the kind that require input even if it's just an ear or a shoulder.

If I am not sure how to ask my established friends for help -- I really don't know how to ask my new friends for support.

Ah... so, though it has been very difficult to navigate these treacherous emotions of loss and anger and frustration, it has been wonderful to be in close proximity to my family -- at gatherings where you can't count the number of hugs and kisses and good to see you's. And tears, but that's the price you pay.

I don't know how to bottle it -- because getting on the train to the bus to the plane to the bus that will take me back to my little apartment, I am stepping back into the void...luckily, only for a few days -- and then I get a few days with my other family in Oakland.

There are blessings... I guess we just have to know how to name and accept them.

May I allow love to flow to and from me.
May I acknowledge abundance.
May I embrace my gifts and talents.
May I feel beautiful and strong.

And remember this prayer when things get tough.