I don't know where to start, so I will just talk about the moths.
It would appear that Sunday was actually moth day.
Perhaps it was their birth day because they were just every where. But they didn't look like babies. Maybe they had just been sleeping til then.
When I found my car full on Sunday afternoon, I figured it was because they had gotten in over night - because I had left the windows cracked.
But as they flapped wildly around my face as I tried to give them a way out, I remembered walking through a veil of them as I came out of my house.
I lowered the windows even though I was on the freeway. The air and wind blowing my hair in my face. No matter how many I saw fly out, there seemed to be more.
I saw one crawl into the crevice between the dash and the windshield. I used a piece of paper to roust them when I had reached my destination trying to get them out.
On my return to the car, however, there were still more buzzing around.
Moths do not appear to be graceful. Maybe it is just that I have only spent time with them in an anxious state.
When I got home, I found more - in the kitchen, in the bedroom, in the bathroom.
My Buddha nature was tired and I was no longer interested in ushering them out. Now I was flailing at them mercilessly (and not very accurately) and this went on all night. When I wasn't flailing I was listening to the moths flail against the walls and the lamp shade and the blinds and and and.
...
What is additionally interesting is that the very next day ... I left my car windows down a bit right at dusk AGAIN. I had just told this sad story to B. When she and the new puppy (!) walked me out, and I pushed the unlock on the car thing, she started laughing. I looked over, and, there was a swarm of moths in my car AGAIN.
This is the story of my life -- I brought it on myself.
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