Mmm hmm

A couple of months ago, when the reality of spending a month in Princeton set in, I had a nightmare. Perhaps that is too strong, but it was, in any case, a bad dream.

In it, I ran into my ex-h and had a conversation with him.

This should not have been a traumatic event, but in the dream it was.

I didn't want to talk to him; I didn't want to hear about his life; and I certainly didn't want him to know about mine. I just didn't.

I felt a little as I had during the divorce when I had "played nice" in order to get him to be cooperative.

In the end, I had bit my tongue, not expressed my feelings, all in an effort at an easy divorce (something I recognize now as an oxymoron). Instead I had gotten little to no cooperation, bigger headaches and bills and swallowed more than my pride.

So, no, I don't want to see him or be civil or anything of the like.

Why is this a problem? There are still boxes of my things (irreplaceable items like my photo albums) at the house. Boxes he promised to ship to me YEARS ago..as in almost 10 years ago.

Since I have been settled in NM. I have thought about asking him to send them but I didn't want to have the nice conversation with him.

My friends have been offering to go get them on my behalf. And I had been considering how to make it happen without interaction on my part.

Monday, the universe intervened as she is wont to do.

No, I did not run into my ex, I ran into his sister. On the same train I have been on four times in the past week. Yeah, not just the morning train but the afternoon one, too.

This is the ex sister in law who has acted as though I ceased to exist after I told him I wanted a divorce.

This morning she was sweet as pie and wanted to know all about what I was doing and tell me all about her ideas for education reform.

She didn't mention him, but you can bet the sighting will be reported perhaps through the mom grapevine or directly. And all the info I divulged will make the rounds. Why couldn't I just ask the questions??

To be as generous as possible, I will say the universe was prodding me to live openly and without fear.

I am choosing to believe that us what the sheriff dream means as well.

Blessings and love to the universe and y'all, too.